Happy 2012 Everyone!
So...Resolutions...why do we make them? We wake up on January 1st and make all these "Resolutions" to ourselves. Sure, for the first few weeks, we follow our new healthy meal plans and go to the gym with all the rest of them. We tell ourselves that we will be "good" and we will make these resolutions to live a more healthy lifestyle. How many of us actually stick to these promises that we make to ourselves?
I decided two years ago never to make these resolutions to myself again. Sure, I did it. I woke up on January 1st and told myself I was going to eat better...that I was going to go to "a gym" and exercise.
I never did it.
Instead, I've made a conscious effort to make "promises" to myself. The one promise I really want to make to myself is to just be happy. I would be lying if I said that 2011 was a stellar year for me. It was not. I struggled with the food aspect, but most of all I struggled with depression and I struggled with self-worth.
If I learned anything this past year however, it would be realizing how much inner-strength I have. There were so many times when I wanted to give up. I wanted to just say "screw it" and not do this journey anymore. I even went through a whole weekend of not exercising and not eating properly - just to see if I could go back to my old habits. And you know what? It didn't work. It didn't last. My "new" habits that I have formed kicked into full gear and I will never go back to that feeling again.
When ALIVE closed down, and Ben and Holly moved away, I felt as though I lost my support system altogether. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. It made me realize that I did and do have a support system - ME. Only I can take care of myself and fight my battle with obesity on my own. Sure, it's awesome to have friends along the way and it's wonderful to have a work out buddy from time to time. I love that. I love all of the support and encouragement I have recieved from my family and friends. I am finally realizing that I am responsible for my future weight loss and goals...
I am realizing just how strong I am on on the inside. Thank you to all of you that have been there for me - encouraging and supporting me along the way. I am really looking forward to this year and all of the challenges it hold for me. I am looking forward to not only meeting some weight loss goals, but other goals such as happiness and peace - within myself.
So, screw those "New Year's Resolutions" and start making promises to yourself. Promise to live each day just being happy...
I am.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Hanging in There!
This blog update will be fairly short, as there is not much different to report from last week.
The temptations at work are now free-flowing...and I have decided to just give in to it. This by no means, means that I am giving up and it's a free for all...just that I will not continue to berrate myself whenever I put a chocolate or anything bad into my mouth. I did that on Wednesday, and paid for it. What's done is done and time to move on.
Wanna know something though? I still managed to lose 0.3 lbs! Yes I maintained - and I will take it!
On Wednesday, we had our montly lap-band support group meeting and our Christmas potluck. It was great to get together with everyone and the food was awesome.
It's been a bit of a crazy and emotional time for me as of late. Christmas time always brings out the emotional side of me. It's the time of year when I REALLY miss my Mom. I think what I am missing the most is the times when I was younger. I miss the times sitting by the fireplace, listening to Christmas Carols or whatever she decided to play...I miss her cabbage rolls...I miss her laugh.
I miss her.
I hope everyone has a really great Christmas filled with family, laughter and love.
Cheers!
K
The temptations at work are now free-flowing...and I have decided to just give in to it. This by no means, means that I am giving up and it's a free for all...just that I will not continue to berrate myself whenever I put a chocolate or anything bad into my mouth. I did that on Wednesday, and paid for it. What's done is done and time to move on.
Wanna know something though? I still managed to lose 0.3 lbs! Yes I maintained - and I will take it!
On Wednesday, we had our montly lap-band support group meeting and our Christmas potluck. It was great to get together with everyone and the food was awesome.
It's been a bit of a crazy and emotional time for me as of late. Christmas time always brings out the emotional side of me. It's the time of year when I REALLY miss my Mom. I think what I am missing the most is the times when I was younger. I miss the times sitting by the fireplace, listening to Christmas Carols or whatever she decided to play...I miss her cabbage rolls...I miss her laugh.
I miss her.
I hope everyone has a really great Christmas filled with family, laughter and love.
Cheers!
K
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Temptation...
It's that time of year...
Christmas Season is well underway and I thought this year I would be prepared for all of the office luncheons, potlucks, and such. I thought that with my new lap-band, that I wouldn't be tempted to eat the yummy sugary goodness and that I would get full way quicker.
Yup... I was wrong...
My problem is, is that I keep picking those nice "Slider" foods. My fellow lap-banders know what I am talking about and can relate! Chocolate, unfortunately doesn't get stuck and slides right on down. My only saving grace, is that I cannot tolerate bread pretty much of any kind - so the yummy slices of banana bread and pastries and such I just don't touch anymore. I did however, and much to my dismay, eat a couple of doughnuts at work - yes they still go down nicely - but I have to work at it...lol...bite of doughnut, then sip of coffee...bite of doughnut...
You get my drift??
I did manage to lose .1 of a pound this week. I basically stayed the same, and I will take it. I also missed a couple of workouts due to being sick. I've spent most of my nights coughing until I throw up - which isn't good for my lungs and throat, AND my lap-band. Today, I managed to get a spin class in and felt pretty good after. I've still been coughing quite a bit, but I think the worst is over.
My focus this week, will be to keep my nibbling of the Christmas treats to a minimum... the good thing about where I work, is that we are all trying to look out for one another - and so we've been putting the treats away in the supply cupboard. Out of sight...out of mind... :-) I only have one Christmas Luncheon and one evening potluck - so I shouldn't have too much of a hard time going off-track.
I hope everyone is doing well with their Christmas Temptations...I know they can be really hard to resist but with some determination and common sense on my part, I can do it!
Just say NO to those temptations!
Happy Week everyone!
Kris
Christmas Season is well underway and I thought this year I would be prepared for all of the office luncheons, potlucks, and such. I thought that with my new lap-band, that I wouldn't be tempted to eat the yummy sugary goodness and that I would get full way quicker.
Yup... I was wrong...
My problem is, is that I keep picking those nice "Slider" foods. My fellow lap-banders know what I am talking about and can relate! Chocolate, unfortunately doesn't get stuck and slides right on down. My only saving grace, is that I cannot tolerate bread pretty much of any kind - so the yummy slices of banana bread and pastries and such I just don't touch anymore. I did however, and much to my dismay, eat a couple of doughnuts at work - yes they still go down nicely - but I have to work at it...lol...bite of doughnut, then sip of coffee...bite of doughnut...
You get my drift??
I did manage to lose .1 of a pound this week. I basically stayed the same, and I will take it. I also missed a couple of workouts due to being sick. I've spent most of my nights coughing until I throw up - which isn't good for my lungs and throat, AND my lap-band. Today, I managed to get a spin class in and felt pretty good after. I've still been coughing quite a bit, but I think the worst is over.
My focus this week, will be to keep my nibbling of the Christmas treats to a minimum... the good thing about where I work, is that we are all trying to look out for one another - and so we've been putting the treats away in the supply cupboard. Out of sight...out of mind... :-) I only have one Christmas Luncheon and one evening potluck - so I shouldn't have too much of a hard time going off-track.
I hope everyone is doing well with their Christmas Temptations...I know they can be really hard to resist but with some determination and common sense on my part, I can do it!
Just say NO to those temptations!
Happy Week everyone!
Kris
Sunday, December 4, 2011
I HAVE Figured It Out!
It's been a pretty good week to say the least. As I said in my post last week, I was having issues with eating enough calories. I ended up upping them to 2,000 calories a day on the days where my workouts were strenuous. The result at the end of the week?? A LOSS of 4.6 lbs! I am totally back on track and feeling positive and upbeat.
I'm also pretty happy about my new fitness routine. I have found my "Niche" at the YMCA. I attend classes there almost every day but Wednesdays...those days I save for my strength training. I am making some new social connections and really enjoying it.
I've had a couple of people approach me this week and ask me how I stay motivated? Well, I can sum it up in about three answers:
1. I don't EVER want to go back to the way I was 2.5 years ago. I am terrified of being over 300 lbs again.
2. My mother. Even though she is gone, she is a HUGE driving force inside me. In her own way, she let's me know when I need to step it up or smarten up or whatever.
3. I hired a personal trainer and a damn good one. Ben taught and showed me so much about exercise and what I was truly capable of achieving. I went from hardly being able to bench-press the bar, to pressing upwards of 120 lbs. After I started seeing results, I wanted to keep going. While I don't train with Ben anymore, my love of exercise continues. Every time I get frustrated with something in my fitness routine, I think to myself "What would Ben do?" A personal trainer can push you beyond what you never thought you could do. I have made exercise a part of my life. I no longer think of it as a chore. It's what I am.
So those of you out there that need movitation - Believe in yourself, push yourself and most of all, just be yourself...and NEVER GIVE UP!
Wish me luck for my weigh in on Friday!
Hugs to everyone!
K
I'm also pretty happy about my new fitness routine. I have found my "Niche" at the YMCA. I attend classes there almost every day but Wednesdays...those days I save for my strength training. I am making some new social connections and really enjoying it.
I've had a couple of people approach me this week and ask me how I stay motivated? Well, I can sum it up in about three answers:
1. I don't EVER want to go back to the way I was 2.5 years ago. I am terrified of being over 300 lbs again.
2. My mother. Even though she is gone, she is a HUGE driving force inside me. In her own way, she let's me know when I need to step it up or smarten up or whatever.
3. I hired a personal trainer and a damn good one. Ben taught and showed me so much about exercise and what I was truly capable of achieving. I went from hardly being able to bench-press the bar, to pressing upwards of 120 lbs. After I started seeing results, I wanted to keep going. While I don't train with Ben anymore, my love of exercise continues. Every time I get frustrated with something in my fitness routine, I think to myself "What would Ben do?" A personal trainer can push you beyond what you never thought you could do. I have made exercise a part of my life. I no longer think of it as a chore. It's what I am.
So those of you out there that need movitation - Believe in yourself, push yourself and most of all, just be yourself...and NEVER GIVE UP!
Wish me luck for my weigh in on Friday!
Hugs to everyone!
K
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I Think I've Figured it Out...
I think I've figured out why my weight has stalled completely the past couple of months...and I can't believe it has taken me so bloody long to figure it out.
But it seems I have.
First off, I would like to thank everyone that has given me their advice and support this last while. I have been VERY discouraged and even - as you know - been so discouraged that I wanted to give up totally. I've listened to everyone's ideas of what I could do do kick start my weight loss again and I've even tried some of them. But what I never really considered doing was the most obvious.
MAYBE YOU AREN'T EATING ENOUGH.
I know. What a concept. But you see, I thought I was watching everything that I was eating. And I have been. I was eating between 1100 - 1400 calories a day, which is what the lap band dietitians have advised that I eat. What I haven't been watching closely is the amount of calories that I burn and intensity of my exercise program vs my calorie intake I thought that after Ben left, and not having a personal trainer anymore, that I would slack off and my workouts wouldn't be as intense. On the contrary - I've kicked it up a notch and added WAY more cardio. My strength training isn't near as good as I want it to be, but it will come. And I will be able to bench over 100lbs again in no time. I've been doing lots of spin classes and have recently taken up Tae-Bo...both of which burn a serious amount of calories.
I have discovered that I am not eating enough for the amount of exercise that I do. Yes I know... I've had a few people tell me that I might want to check into that - that I might be starving my body and not giving it the fuel that it needs in order to up my metabolism - hence lose the weight. I just thought that I wasn't working out hard enough.
Make sense? It does to me now...finally. I stepped on the scale this morning. Since Friday I have lost two pounds.
I can't really say this plateau has been a really bad thing tho. My body has taught me its limits. While the scale hasn't shown change, my clothes have definitely changed. With all the spinning I've been doing, my quads have developed some definite muscular definition - something I'm totally not used to. AND - my cardio endurance is the best it has ever been!
I am happy and so relieved.
I am on track again. YES!!
But it seems I have.
First off, I would like to thank everyone that has given me their advice and support this last while. I have been VERY discouraged and even - as you know - been so discouraged that I wanted to give up totally. I've listened to everyone's ideas of what I could do do kick start my weight loss again and I've even tried some of them. But what I never really considered doing was the most obvious.
MAYBE YOU AREN'T EATING ENOUGH.
I know. What a concept. But you see, I thought I was watching everything that I was eating. And I have been. I was eating between 1100 - 1400 calories a day, which is what the lap band dietitians have advised that I eat. What I haven't been watching closely is the amount of calories that I burn and intensity of my exercise program vs my calorie intake I thought that after Ben left, and not having a personal trainer anymore, that I would slack off and my workouts wouldn't be as intense. On the contrary - I've kicked it up a notch and added WAY more cardio. My strength training isn't near as good as I want it to be, but it will come. And I will be able to bench over 100lbs again in no time. I've been doing lots of spin classes and have recently taken up Tae-Bo...both of which burn a serious amount of calories.
I have discovered that I am not eating enough for the amount of exercise that I do. Yes I know... I've had a few people tell me that I might want to check into that - that I might be starving my body and not giving it the fuel that it needs in order to up my metabolism - hence lose the weight. I just thought that I wasn't working out hard enough.
Make sense? It does to me now...finally. I stepped on the scale this morning. Since Friday I have lost two pounds.
I can't really say this plateau has been a really bad thing tho. My body has taught me its limits. While the scale hasn't shown change, my clothes have definitely changed. With all the spinning I've been doing, my quads have developed some definite muscular definition - something I'm totally not used to. AND - my cardio endurance is the best it has ever been!
I am happy and so relieved.
I am on track again. YES!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
INVINCIBLE
Took a long hard look at my life
Lost my way while I was fighting the time
A big black cloud, stormy sky
Followed me, oh I was living a lie
So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness
When all your nights are starless
You're running outta hope
But I found the strength inside to see
Found the better part of me
And I'll never let it go
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
When you're gone for a day
On your own
Tear your heart out just to find your way home
I've been so high
I've sunk so low
I've come so far, with nothing to show for it
Mistaken, I got so good at taking
But now I'm tired of faking
This story's getting old
So I found the strength inside to see
From the better part of me
And I'll never let it go
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
I'm not the only one
That crashed into the sun
And lived to fight another day
Like a super nova
That old life is over
I'm here to stay
Now I'm gonna be
Invincible
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
The lyrics to the song by Hedley, a really great Canadian Band BTW, ring true for me. Just a mere 2.5 years ago, I found myself in probably one of the lowest times of my life. I was 360 lbs, and hated myself. I am now 273 lbs and even though there are days where I struggle incredibly to stay on track, and focused, I know that I am getting closer and closer to my goal. My goal of being happy AND slimmer. Check out the video of this song if you get a moment...it's so inspiring!
Instead of saying I CAN do this...I'm saying I WILL do this!
Hugs to all...
Lost my way while I was fighting the time
A big black cloud, stormy sky
Followed me, oh I was living a lie
So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness
When all your nights are starless
You're running outta hope
But I found the strength inside to see
Found the better part of me
And I'll never let it go
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
When you're gone for a day
On your own
Tear your heart out just to find your way home
I've been so high
I've sunk so low
I've come so far, with nothing to show for it
Mistaken, I got so good at taking
But now I'm tired of faking
This story's getting old
So I found the strength inside to see
From the better part of me
And I'll never let it go
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
I'm not the only one
That crashed into the sun
And lived to fight another day
Like a super nova
That old life is over
I'm here to stay
Now I'm gonna be
Invincible
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible
The lyrics to the song by Hedley, a really great Canadian Band BTW, ring true for me. Just a mere 2.5 years ago, I found myself in probably one of the lowest times of my life. I was 360 lbs, and hated myself. I am now 273 lbs and even though there are days where I struggle incredibly to stay on track, and focused, I know that I am getting closer and closer to my goal. My goal of being happy AND slimmer. Check out the video of this song if you get a moment...it's so inspiring!
Instead of saying I CAN do this...I'm saying I WILL do this!
Hugs to all...
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Time for a Change Up??
The last couple of weeks have been a little trying emotionally for me. Last weekend, I actually felt like quitting...I felt like throwing in the towel and saying "screw it." My weight has stayed the same (give or take two pounds) for almost two months now.
I'm tired...
I'm frustrated...
So I thought I would take this past week and just try and relax about my weight loss (or lack of it) and try not to even think about it. I think I made it to Tuesday...lol I talked with a few people from work and the gym and got some insight.
First off...quitting is NOT an option for me. I have come way to far to quit. I have to change my mindset and keep focused.
Secondly...I need to start tracking EVERYTHING. I track what I eat and for the most part, how much. What I have not been tracking is the amount of carbs that I've been ingesting. I need to start counting those and keeping better track.
Thirdly...Water...or lack of it. Starting tomorrow - I am going to track my water intake and TRY and drink more (notice I said try). I will make sure I am not using being too busy at work as an excuse as to why I'm not getting my water intake.
Again - I must get more sleep. 5-6 hrs a night is just not cutting it. I know that proper sleep hygiene is VITAL to weight loss. I've had quite a bit of stress to deal with lately - maybe it's time I make another trip to talk to Veronica my therapist. I am considering taking up meditation...I've been going to as many yoga classes as I can and that seems to be helping. I need to learn to BREATHE...and relax!
I am also seriously considering trying to cut gluten out of my diet. Although I LOVE my grains (i.e. cereal and oatmeal) this is something that I would like to try. I have a couple of friends that have celiac disease, and although they have told me that in the beginning, it was hard for them to cut out the gluten or wheat in their diet, they have definitely felt better and have had more energy. This might be one of the things I need to do in order to kick start my weight loss again.
I am also going to change up my exericse routine. I am going to add more cardio and cut out my cross fit classes.
Whatever changes I need to make, I need to just do it. After all, they say change is good right?
Cheers to a better week ahead!
K
I'm tired...
I'm frustrated...
So I thought I would take this past week and just try and relax about my weight loss (or lack of it) and try not to even think about it. I think I made it to Tuesday...lol I talked with a few people from work and the gym and got some insight.
First off...quitting is NOT an option for me. I have come way to far to quit. I have to change my mindset and keep focused.
Secondly...I need to start tracking EVERYTHING. I track what I eat and for the most part, how much. What I have not been tracking is the amount of carbs that I've been ingesting. I need to start counting those and keeping better track.
Thirdly...Water...or lack of it. Starting tomorrow - I am going to track my water intake and TRY and drink more (notice I said try). I will make sure I am not using being too busy at work as an excuse as to why I'm not getting my water intake.
Again - I must get more sleep. 5-6 hrs a night is just not cutting it. I know that proper sleep hygiene is VITAL to weight loss. I've had quite a bit of stress to deal with lately - maybe it's time I make another trip to talk to Veronica my therapist. I am considering taking up meditation...I've been going to as many yoga classes as I can and that seems to be helping. I need to learn to BREATHE...and relax!
I am also seriously considering trying to cut gluten out of my diet. Although I LOVE my grains (i.e. cereal and oatmeal) this is something that I would like to try. I have a couple of friends that have celiac disease, and although they have told me that in the beginning, it was hard for them to cut out the gluten or wheat in their diet, they have definitely felt better and have had more energy. This might be one of the things I need to do in order to kick start my weight loss again.
I am also going to change up my exericse routine. I am going to add more cardio and cut out my cross fit classes.
Whatever changes I need to make, I need to just do it. After all, they say change is good right?
Cheers to a better week ahead!
K
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