Sunday, April 29, 2012

Inner Strength

Wow...the past couple of weeks have been a blur...  I've had so many things - and good things happen to me in such a short period of time.  Two Saturdays ago, my friend Jeanette and I went to the Y together to work out - she was interested in knowing a little more about deadlifts, and the free weights.  I was so excited and happy to show her what I have learned.  As I was showing her how to do a proper deadlift, a guy came up to us and told me that he had been watching me for the past couple of weeks and noticed that I was using great form with all my exercises.  He asked if I had trained with a personal trainer.  I told him yes and he said that it showed.  Anyway, it felt great inside knowing that someone else noticed that I take my exercise regime seriously.  It gave me that extra confidence boost!  Jeanette did a super great job with her deadlifts and I am looking forward to working out with her every other will be great to have a workout buddy and to have someone there to push me!

This past Tuesday, I showed up at my regular spin class.  Tammy, the instructor came up to me as I was setting up my bike before class started.  I have never really talked to her except to say hi and the odd little conversation here and there.  She came right out and told me that she has never met anyone as dedicated to my exercise and my health as me.  She told me that my "cardio endurance must be incredible" and then she told me that I was an inspiration to HER.  I was a inspiration to her??  I was speechless...I mean, I've had my other instructors and trainers say that they are proud of me and that I've done a great job, but never have I been told I'm an inspiration to them.  I've been told by my peers that I inspire them to lead a better lifestyle - but not someone of an authority type figure.  I was taken aback, and very humbled by her comment.  What a great memory to have!

I also ended this week on a really high note.  After being on Seroquel - an anti-psychotic medication that my doctor prescribed for me for my chronic insomnia issues after my mother died - for almost three years, I FINALLY weaned myself off of it entirely.  I have tried four times unsucessfully to get off the stuff and this last time, with a huge amount of patience and perseverance, I did it.  My brain is still feeling some of the aftershock type "twinges" that people can get from ceasing the drug - my doctor says it may take up to six months before it's entirely out of my system, but whatever...I've done it and won't ever be going back.  I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends, co-workers and family - in particular my husband Brian - who have been there for me while I have been going through my withdrawl periods.  Your patience and your understanding have been incredible.  Thank you.

I had an interesting experience yesterday morning at the Y while I was working out.  I was laying on my mat in the stretching area doing my ab routine when this woman came and laid down beside me.  She immediately started talking to me.  I was polite, but basically just tuned her out.  That was until she insulted me.  She said "You know, I know of some special shakes that I can sell to people as big as you."  Now, I know what you are probably thinking...WTF!?  Seriously??!!  And I won't lie - I was furious.  But you know what I did?  I laughed at her.  I looked her straight in the eye and said "Well YOU know...there are special drugs that stupid people like you can take and there is botox and creams out there to help with your ugly, wrinkled, over-sun-baked leathery skin!"  I smiled at her again and proceeded to get up - I then told her to have a great day.  As I walked away, I looked back at her and she was still laying there with her mouth gaped open in surprise.  I'm sure she was pretty embarrassed.  I hope she was.  It was a rude, and hurtful thing to say - even if she did think she was meaning well.  The old me probably would have started yelling at her and maybe even popped her one in the mouth.  But I didn't...I walked away and laughed.  Stupid people like that are worth laughing at.  They don't deserve my time and energy.  I am proud of myself.

I am also getting closer to my 100 lb goal.  I don't want to say how many pounds I'm down now as I don't want to jinx it!  It shouldn't be long though...will keep everyone posted!

Love and hugs to all!


Sunday, April 15, 2012

The "Other" Woman

It's been a bit of an crazy up and down two weeks.

I went to the Y this past Saturday morning to do my usual "crazy" strength training workout.  I love Saturday mornings at the Y.  Everybody there is serious and ready to really work out and train their bodies.  There is hardly any waiting for benches and everyone is courteous to everyone else.  Something happened to me yesterday.  Something I hadn't noticed before.  I was standing there, doing my bicep curls - making sure I was watching myself in the mirror - watching my form...then I did something I have never done before.  I REALLY looked at myself...and the other woman in the mirror hardly looked like me - or so I felt that way.  My jaw dropped.  I almost dropped the weights on my feet in fact I walked up closer to the mirror to get a closer look, the tears started.  I noticed my collar bones.  I noticed my neck.  I noticed that I didn't have a double chin.  I noticed my eyes.  Then I looked down and noticed the rest of my body - I had a much smaller waist and my legs had some form to them instead of my big old sausage legs. 

I have had people tell me how great I look.  They have been telling me this for a long time now.

The thing is...

Is that I had to finally notice this for MYSELF

I'm sure I made quite a scene.  The poor big muscle guy next to me actually dropped what he was doing and came up to me and asked me if I was okay.  My response?  "I'm SO okay!  I am AWESOME thanks!"  He just shrugged his shoulders, and smiled and proceeded to go back to what he was doing.  I went back to doing my bicep curls.  I think I must have done about 100 of those babies, cause man do my biceps hurt today! lol

Sometimes I still feel like 360 lb Kristy.  I will go shopping for clothes and immediately go to the 5-6x section - and then the other woman will smack me upside the head and say "look it!  Smarten up will you?  You are no longer that big anymore - start thinking like the new you!" 

This will all take some time to get used to I am sure of it - but I will get there.  I have lots of time and this is no race.

I also decided last week after going to the blood donor clinic to try and taper off my Seroquel again.  This will be like the third time in trying this.  The nurse at the clinic told me that if they tried to give my blood to someone that needed it, that I could kill them if the Seroquel was still in my blood.  This factor only makes me want to try harder to get off the stuff.  I don't need it anymore.  I am strong and I can do this.  So far, I have felt pretty light headed and weird, but overall I am doing okay.  I wasn't very happy with my weight gain this week as I gained a little - 0.8 lbs only though - but I contribute that to the Seroquel tapering.  My body is trying to adjust to so much and it's probably just freaking out.

Wish me luck!  I am hoping by this time next week, that I will be almost off the stuff.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week!


Sunday, April 1, 2012

A bit of a Tutorial...

I've had two people this week alone ask me how my band works and how it helps me with my weight loss.  The answer to that is a tool.  The only way I have been able to lose the weight is if I WORK with it.  I have to constantly be dilligent that I don't overstuff myself, or eat to feeling full.  I have to eat until I am no longer hungry... that's the difference! 

Below is a quick 1-2 minute video showing how my band works for me:

Hope this helps with some of those questions I have been getting.  I find the Dr.'s voice rather annoying, but it's an informative video nonetheless!

I've had a pretty good week.  I did only manage to lose .1 lbs this week, but that's okay.  I am now down a total of 87.6 lbs and feel great.  I've really done a great job with my nutritional plan too.  I've cut out most (refined) sugar, and cut my wheat consumption drastically.  I got some advice from a pathologist I work for regarding the wheat consumption - he advised me to try to cut it out completely as it raises my inflammatory markers.  Well, I thought I would give it an honest "go" and lo and knees have had ZERO pain in a week! 

I also decided to do my measurements today too.  I am so happy to report that since I started my journey almost three years ago, I have lost a total of 44.8 inches off of my body in total!  The biggest difference has been in my hips, boobs, and upper arms.  I am finding that the more my skin sags in my lower belly area, the more it's getting harder to measure!  Everything seems to be pulling down...I am so looking foward to the day that my BMI gets to the range where I will be considered for plastic surgery. 

I'm looking forward to a great week...I have my next fill appointment on Thursday.  I have done really well and worked extremely hard the past month and a half.  I hope my surgeon thinks so too!

Happy week everyone!