Tuesday, March 4, 2014


So I had my surgery on Thursday to remove my lapband.  

I'm in full force recovery mode now.  I'm trying to walk as much as possible as that has seemed to help with my post op pain.  I get tired very quickly though so I'm glad I have the rest of this week off.

The surgery itself went really well.  My amazing surgeon Dr Church told me I had some scar tissue he had to remove, but also said it was completely normal.  He also told me something that worried me a little bit.  Apparently he had to "scrape" the tubing from my band off of my liver.  But again, he told me it's nothing to be too concerned about, so I'm trying not to think about it.

Saturday as I was removing my bandages, I got emotional when I looked at my incisions.  I think part of that was from my after effects from the anesthetic.  But part of me felt a sense of loss.  I missed my band...for the first time, I missed it.  When I first received my band, I felt I had received the biggest gift in the world...and I had.  I thought it would be my band and me forever against the world.  It helped me lose over 70 lbs!  I used my tool to its fullest potential.

Unfortunately, not all tools last forever.  

I am going to spend the next few months getting to know myself again.  I am going to start setting weekly and monthly goals and get my strength and stamina back.  

Moving forward!


Sunday, February 23, 2014


This last week has been kind of crazy.

I saw my surgeon for my follow up appointment on Thursday.  When he examined me, he discovered that I have a mild infection in my port area... He also told me my port is tipped inwards...possibly twisted.  This would be why I've had so much swelling and pain in my upper stomach area.

Like most general surgeons, he was blunt with me.  He told me he wanted to remove it sooner rather than later.  "How's next Thursday?" he quipped.  I sat there with my mouth open....ummmm...wow!  

That soon??!

Yep...that soon.

I'm feeling some mixed emotions.  I'm happy my pain will be over and I will finally be able to eat normally again.  But on the other hand...I'm feeling a slight sense of loss.

My band was a part of me.  I received it at a crucial time in my life...I needed it.  I worked my ass off to get it.

But I know now it's time to really show myself what I am made of.  I'm looking forward to getting my metabolism back...to have it return to normal.  I'm ready to be strong again, not just physically but emotionally.  

Thursday will be the beginning of a new chapter in my journey.  My journey to happiness and self-realization.  

Thank you to all of you who have been there for me...supporting me.  I appreciate each and every one of you.


Saturday, February 15, 2014


The last week has certainly been interesting.

The last time I saw my surgeon on January 24th, he gave me 0.4 cc's of a fill.  This us not that much, however in my case, it was more than enough.  

Last Saturday evening, I ate two bites of a rice cake and got stuck immediately.  I vomited 5 times before everything eventually settled down.  This led to my dietician putting me on a liquid diet when I saw her on Monday.  I was going yo be seeing Dr Church on the 20th and she thought it would be a good thing to do to gets things to settle down and reduce the inflammation in my esophagus.  

I lasted two days on the liquid diet.  By the time Wednesday came around, I couldn't even get coffee or water in.  I was told to head straight to the PLC ER if that was the case.  So I did.

I received IV fluids as I was quite dehydrated.  It's amazing how quickly dehydration settles in.  It was a harrowing experience for me to say the least.

After 9 hours, the surgical team came to assess me.  Two residents and an attending surgeon tried their best to find my port so I could get a de-fill.  They were unsuccessful.  After 7 pokes and prods of my belly with the needle, my surgeon pulled back the curtain and tried to do my de-fill.  It took him three tries to find my port.  He told me that it was tipped now and that's why it was such a difficult task.  It's never been an issue for me to get a fill/de-fill.

Dr Church told me he took out a full cc...today it feels as though he took everything out.  I ate tuna, chicken and shrimp yesterday without any issues.  I almost felt panicky...not having the restriction is a bit daunting.   It's new to me...I'm so used to everything getting stuck.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad thing, just weird.

I also want to give huge kudos to a nurse who took care of me on Wednesday.  I don't think nurses get enough credit for the hard work they do.  He was calm and caring the whole time I was there.  I will be sending an email to his supervisor, letting him/her know how much I appreciated him.

I'm seeing Dr Church this coming Thursday for a consult and to discuss the band removal.  I hope it's sooner rather than later!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and show of concern the past few days.  Your support has been...incredible.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I've Sprung a Leak?!

I've been having some issues with my lap-band for a while now.  Some days I can barely get liquids down, some days I vomit every time I eat, and there have been some days when I can eat just about anything.  I've had my upper GI done, and when I saw my surgeon this past Friday, he noticed that I was "wide open" meaning I had virtually no restriction in my band.  

"I am pretty sure you have a slow leak somewhere" he said.  He then told me I would probably need more testing and then if that's the case, I would need my band replaced.

I have had a lot of time to think about things.  I have not been happy with my progress (or lack of) this past year.  I have constant burning in my esophagus, vomiting weekly, and weight gain.  

I have talked to my dietician, my surgeon, my internist and my therapist.  With their advice, I have made the difficult decision to get my band removed.  Permanently.

This has not been an easy decision for me.  I can't blame the band entirely for my issues.  It has helped me eat smaller portions, eat slower and in turn, lose weight.  I do not for a second regret my decision for getting it in the first place.  My journey with my band has had its ups and downs, but for the most part, it's been a rewarding experience - and I've learned so much about myself.

I'm looking forward to this next phase in my journey.  I'm excited!