Sunday, July 31, 2011

I'm a Big Girl Now...

So...ya...I did it.  I finally did what I've been talking non-stop for for like the last two weeks at least.  On Wednesday evening, I finally went to the YMCA and did a class...all by myself. 

Out of everything that I have set out to accomplish, this is by far pretty close to the top.  I have been spending a lot of time lately, letting my anxiety control me.  On Wednesday, I guess I decided I wanted a break from it.  I wanted to accomplish something...something big...and for me - I did.  It was weird just coming straight home from work - I almost always bring my gym bag with me to work and go directly to the gym from there.  I walked through the door, and headed straight to the couch.  Brian had been home sick from work - which is probably a good thing now that I think about it.  So, I sat there and said "You know - I don't have to go if I don't want to.  I COULD just stay home." 

Stay home?!  And do what??  Sit on the couch and know that once again, my anxiety got the best of me?  NO...I wanted to do this...I wanted to prove to myself that I COULD do it on my own. 

So I grabbed a snack and headed out the door.  While walking to the train station I kept thinking "You can go back Kristy, it's not too late!"  But this other voice in my head just kept telling me to keep walking...I also had a couple of friends close by on my Blackberry, and they kept at me.  Then when I got to the Y, I stood outside for about 10 minutes - trying to talk myself out of it, when Brian texted me - asking me how I was like he knew what I was  So - I went in and did the class...and you know what??  I really enjoyed myself and wondered why I was freaking out in the first place. 

I think we all have our "Comfort Zone" that we don't like to break out of from time to time.  This time however, it was imparative that I do so.  This was one of the reasons why I got so big in the first place.  I relied WAY too much on other people and not on myself to get myself well and to become healthy and strong.  I am VERY proud of myself and am looking forward to this week's class!

I had another NSV this week.  I can now cross my legs!  I haven't been able to do that since I was a teenager.  I probably won't be doing it much tho - not good for your circulation, but it felt good knowing that I can.

I am also looking forward to this week.  I start my new position as a Laboratory Support Clerk back at the DSC.  I'm looking forward to seeing everybody that I used to work with, and I'm looking forward to getting back to some sort of a routine.

My goals for this week: 

1.  Do Wednesday's class again
2.  Sleep better
3.  Cut out carbs in the evening


  1. Good for you! Sometimes it is hard to break out of our comfort zones. I struggle with anxiety sometimes too. It's always worse in my head though and I feel better when I do it. Good luck with the new position this week!

  2. Very good for you. I totally sympathize with the comfort zone thing. I'm not a big one for stepping outside of that. congrats!

  3. Thanks Ladies! My new position was great this week! Was kept busy and it's such a positive place to work...I didn't get to the YMCA this week tho - my knee was bugging me - but I still managed to go for a nice long walk! Thanks for your support!