Sunday, July 3, 2011

I Am Human

Ummmm...yeah...it's certainly been an interesting week to say the least - an emotional roller coaster of sorts actually, and I've not been very happy about riding it out.  Monday started off super-great for me.  I received the news that I had gotten the job that I applied for.  I will be back working at the DSC - the Diagnostic and Scientific Centre for Calgary Laboratory Services.  I have been wanting this change for quite some time.  While I will miss my co-workers at the Rockyview, I know I will be much happier doing a job that I love.  I have no exact date when I will be moving over there - hopefully there won't be too much of a hold-up.

The rest of the week was stressful...and I can't just pin-point one reason why.  It was a multitude of things.  The way I dealt with it blew sucked (to put it mildly).   I started my cycle again of emotional eating again.  I haven't done this in probably over a year now.  While I was a bit surprised at what I had done, I was immediately upset with myself - but I kept doing it!  My food of choice was of course sugar...I get that instant calmness come over me immediately after putting it in my mouth - but of course within an hour of consuming it, I just wanted to make myself throw up.  Since my surgery, I have had a few people come up to me and tell me I took the easy way out - that I should be able to do this with just diet and exercise alone.  The lap-band by NO means is a quick fix...I knew this going in and I still believe that.  It is only a TOOL and will work for me as long as I am working with it.  This means NO ice-cream...NO chocolate...NO cereal in the evenings! 

I think what is different about me this time around with this cycle of my emotional eating, is that I have realized that I AM human...I will slip up like this from time to time...and the only thing I can and WILL do is to get back on track and get back into my routine.  I have come WAY too far to screw this up.  I will start again to use my lap-band as a tool and try to remember some of the tools I was taught in my weight loss support group:  Am I head hungry, stomach hungry or heart hungry?  Lately I've noticed I've had a heck a lof of heart hunger and need to THINK before I eat. 

Anyone else out there find that they emotionally eat?  I would love to hear the strategies you use to combat it...

It is a constant battle for me...but I'm human and I will kick it!

2 comments:

  1. Hugs hon! You are stil awesome no matter, the progress you have made, the growth you have shown, all make both Sean and I so very proud of you. We are always here for you, we will kick you in the butt when we see you need it, we will always offer you our shoulders and we love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a concept - to think before we eat.
    I need to do that too!
    I plan on what it will be and plan on what will be next!
    Hope your week is great!

    ReplyDelete