When I started my Journey over three years ago, Ben (my trainer) and I sat down and wrote down some goals that I wanted to achieve. We talked about how I wanted to be healthier and thinner, and we talked about how I wanted to be happy. While I have worked extremely hard at achieving these, they will always be an ongoing work in progress.
I have set a new goal for myself. I don't want to obsess about my weight anymore. To be honest...it's really getting to me. I will lose 10 pounds, then I'm up three...then I will lose three and be up two...
Get my drift?
Back in the fall of 2009, Ben introduced me to deadlifting. It was by far one of the exercises/drills he would have me do, and to be honest, I ROCKED at it. I ended up lifting as heavy as 265 lbs. My goal at that time was 300 lbs, but I never did it. I let my head crap get the best of me. Ben told me back then that he felt I could compete if I wanted to. At that point in my journey, I had so much garbage going on in my head - that I decided I couldn't do it. I had an obstacle in front of me - telling me that I couldn't do it. The obstacle was myself. So...I let it all go - decided I couldn't do it anymore and just tried to forget about it.
Until this past Saturday. Brian and I were at the YMCA working out and I decided I wanted to try to deadlift again. I have deadlifted from time to time since 2009, but have never really taken it seriously. Saturday, for some reason, I did. I did sets of five, each time going heavier and heavier. Then when I was taking a break, I looked to my left and saw this woman doing the exact same thing I was doing...I watched her out of the corner of my eye - she was doing snatches and cleans with heavy weight - I was amazed...we both looked at each other at the same time and so I complimented her. She came up to me and we started talking - I told her I had lifted as heavy as 265 lbs - and that I was wanting to work towards that again. She told me that I should be competing, if I wanted to lift that heavy. She told me I had great form and all I needed were some minor tweaks and to work on my breathing techniques. That's when she told me she had been a Women's Olympic Weight Lifting Coach. She gave me her name - which is Lynn - and she gave me her number and email address. The we went for a walk around the track and she gave me a "pep talk." She said if I needed ANY help at all, that she would help me get into competition "mode." We also talked a little bit about diet and things like that. I have already sent her an email and hope to hear back from her soon.
I now feel I have the confidence to do this. I want to be healthier and more fit of course, but I also want to be stronger than I ever had been in my life - and I am well on my way. I know with the proper coaching, and perseverance and hard work on my part, I can do it. I've always had the outer strength to do this - now I need to work harder on my inner strength!
I'm excited...I have a new goal to work towards...Weightlifting competition...HERE I COME!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Finding Balance...
I love my therapist. Plain and simple. She gets me. We had a great session on Tuesday - we mostly talked about my sleeping habits - which are slowly getting better btw - but a lot of the session we talked about finding balance in my life. For the last three years, it's been almost all about my exercise and eating plan. I haven't really had a lot of time to do other things that make me happy. This may sound silly, but I used to get anxious when I couldn't work out - I was worried I was going to get fatter again. We discussed how I can still be dedicated to my lifestyle, but STILL have a life. I have started to change things up a bit with my exercise program - I've been doing more strength training and I feel pretty good. I still stick to my cardio three times a week, because it's important. I'm also trying out the new yoga class which I've been meaning to go to, but haven't found a gap in my schedule. This Sunday I will be doing that. So, the point to all of this, is to find a happy-medium - to be happy with what I'm doing - and to have fun. This will be a work in progress!
On Tuesday, I celebrated my 3 year "Healthy Birthday." Three years ago, I walked into Alive Personal Training - not knowing what to expect - I was scared, mad, sad and out of control. I am so glad I made the decision to get healthy. Through all of that, I was selected to receive my lap-band. It's been such a whirlwind for me, but I'm happy. Here is How It All Began!
So if you are someone who is just interested in starting out on a Weight Loss Journey, kudos to you! Just remember, it's a life-long journey...there is no end point. Take each day as it comes and don't look back!
K
On Tuesday, I celebrated my 3 year "Healthy Birthday." Three years ago, I walked into Alive Personal Training - not knowing what to expect - I was scared, mad, sad and out of control. I am so glad I made the decision to get healthy. Through all of that, I was selected to receive my lap-band. It's been such a whirlwind for me, but I'm happy. Here is How It All Began!
So if you are someone who is just interested in starting out on a Weight Loss Journey, kudos to you! Just remember, it's a life-long journey...there is no end point. Take each day as it comes and don't look back!
K
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Slip Slidin' Away...
OOPS! I did it.
Last week, I went on a three day bender....with sugar...my kryptonite.
But the positive thing, was that I snapped out of it in time so that I didn't do any MAJOR damage. The worst thing was that I physically felt like a big bag of shit.
The most important thing we all need to realize is that we are human, and we will slip up from time to time. Everybody does...and if they say they don't...they are LYING!
I've gotten back into eating super clean, and I feel good. Other than my sleep schedule being a tad screwed up, I'm doing great. Last week I really tried hard to put my sleep therapist's advice into reality. Out of the 6 days so far since seeing her, I have done what I've been told for four of them. We also discussed the fact that my body is still trying to adjust to having no Seroquel - yes believe it or not, that bad boy can stay in your system for up to a year! So if I don't sleep from time to time...no biggie.
Brian has been helping me out a lot with my lunches that I take to work. Here is an awesome salad he made me the other day. It's got quinoa, cous cous, chick peas and veggies in it. I couldn't even get through half of it because it was so filling!
I've also been incorporating sweet potatoes into my diet. And...have been wheat free for...drumroll please...FOUR DAYS! Yeah I know - it's not very long...but for me, it's eternity! I don't feel much of a difference yet, but I'm sure I will be reaping the benefits pretty soon!
I also had a great week fitness-wise. When I started my workout on Thursday evening last week, I walked by a bin that was sitting over by the spin bikes...I looked in the bin and lo and behold this is what I found!!
Last week, I went on a three day bender....with sugar...my kryptonite.
But the positive thing, was that I snapped out of it in time so that I didn't do any MAJOR damage. The worst thing was that I physically felt like a big bag of shit.
The most important thing we all need to realize is that we are human, and we will slip up from time to time. Everybody does...and if they say they don't...they are LYING!
I've gotten back into eating super clean, and I feel good. Other than my sleep schedule being a tad screwed up, I'm doing great. Last week I really tried hard to put my sleep therapist's advice into reality. Out of the 6 days so far since seeing her, I have done what I've been told for four of them. We also discussed the fact that my body is still trying to adjust to having no Seroquel - yes believe it or not, that bad boy can stay in your system for up to a year! So if I don't sleep from time to time...no biggie.
Brian has been helping me out a lot with my lunches that I take to work. Here is an awesome salad he made me the other day. It's got quinoa, cous cous, chick peas and veggies in it. I couldn't even get through half of it because it was so filling!
I've also been incorporating sweet potatoes into my diet. And...have been wheat free for...drumroll please...FOUR DAYS! Yeah I know - it's not very long...but for me, it's eternity! I don't feel much of a difference yet, but I'm sure I will be reaping the benefits pretty soon!
I also had a great week fitness-wise. When I started my workout on Thursday evening last week, I walked by a bin that was sitting over by the spin bikes...I looked in the bin and lo and behold this is what I found!!
For those of you that don't know what this is, it's a TRX. It's used for full body weight suspension training. It's amazing what you can do with one of these babies. I hadn't used a TRX in about 7 months, so I was definitely excited to pull it out and set it up and get working out on it. I spent a good 30-40 minutes, re-acquainting myself with it. I showed it to Jeanette two days later and she quite liked it too. I am defintely going to add this into my workout program!
So...for the next week...my three goals are:
1. Continue eating clean.
2. Don't stress about the sleep issue
3. Check out this new yoga studio in Lake Bonavista. It's a Iyengar Yoga Studio - my therapist recommended it. My joints sure could use it!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
96...
Yup! The title is correct! As of this past Friday, I am down 96 lbs! I'm so close to 100lbs down that I can taste it. I'm so freakin excited, that every time I think about it, I just smile from ear to ear. I've been working really hard - on both my nutrition and my exercise so it all makes sense.
I wish I could just round it up...lol But then that would be cheating right? ;-P
On a different subject - those of you who do not know - we lost a member of our pet family last week. My beautiful leo gecko passed away peacefully last Wednesday morning. I had her for 10 years and she was such a neat pet. I will miss her greatly - I still find myself feeling a bit sad when I come home and see her empty tank. It's always hard to let a pet go...but I keep telling myself - that nothing lives forever...and that she is at peace.
I saw my therapist yesterday. She invited a "Sleep Psychologist" to my session. She had a lot of great ideas about ways that I can help deal with my chronic insomnia issues. One of them was trying to not fall asleep in front of the TV - and to just head up to bed as soon as I feel tired. Well I did just that last night and it worked! I slept right through to Brian's alarm. We also had a chance to talk about my sleep medications - which I am very proud to say I'm only on ONE now...NO MORE SEROQUEL!! As of the 20th of this month, I will have been off it for a full 30 days. I still take the Trazadone, but was told that it's okay.
I've also been making large changes with my nutrition - I've been really cutting back hard on the wheat in my diet and have been noticing the benefits of that. I've been looking into the Paleo Diet and the Primal Diet - both of which intrigue me. I have been leaning a little more towards the Primal as it allows certain types of dairy - i.e. cheese, natural yogurt etc. While I don't eat a heck of a lot of cheese, I do eat my share of yogurt. There are so many things to think about - whatever I do decide to do, I will make sure I do it slowly!
I'm feeling stronger and more in control of my life...and I LOVE it!
I wish I could just round it up...lol But then that would be cheating right? ;-P
On a different subject - those of you who do not know - we lost a member of our pet family last week. My beautiful leo gecko passed away peacefully last Wednesday morning. I had her for 10 years and she was such a neat pet. I will miss her greatly - I still find myself feeling a bit sad when I come home and see her empty tank. It's always hard to let a pet go...but I keep telling myself - that nothing lives forever...and that she is at peace.
I saw my therapist yesterday. She invited a "Sleep Psychologist" to my session. She had a lot of great ideas about ways that I can help deal with my chronic insomnia issues. One of them was trying to not fall asleep in front of the TV - and to just head up to bed as soon as I feel tired. Well I did just that last night and it worked! I slept right through to Brian's alarm. We also had a chance to talk about my sleep medications - which I am very proud to say I'm only on ONE now...NO MORE SEROQUEL!! As of the 20th of this month, I will have been off it for a full 30 days. I still take the Trazadone, but was told that it's okay.
I've also been making large changes with my nutrition - I've been really cutting back hard on the wheat in my diet and have been noticing the benefits of that. I've been looking into the Paleo Diet and the Primal Diet - both of which intrigue me. I have been leaning a little more towards the Primal as it allows certain types of dairy - i.e. cheese, natural yogurt etc. While I don't eat a heck of a lot of cheese, I do eat my share of yogurt. There are so many things to think about - whatever I do decide to do, I will make sure I do it slowly!
I'm feeling stronger and more in control of my life...and I LOVE it!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
I Used To Be...Now I Am...And I WIll Be!
I USED TO BE just a person that would try the gym out once in January when all of the other "resolutioners" would attend.
NOW I AM a regular gym goer - I go at least 5-6 times a week.
AND I WILL continue with this regular routine and continue to motivate people by example.
I USED TO BE a quiet introvert, who stayed home as much as I could...
NOW I AM an extrovert most times who is like a social butterfly upon leaving her cocoon.
AND I WILL BE a strong, forthright individual, whom is not afraid to face the world.
I USED TO BE a tired, depressed girl who would flop on the couch when I got home from work, and watch TV and stuff my face.
NOW I AM a girl who never sits still.
AND I WILL BE a girl who will be able to balance BOTH work (fitness) and play into my life.
I USED TO BE a girl who ate garbage and my cupboards prooved it.
NOW I AM proud to have nutritious, wholesome foods in my house.
AND I WILL BE able to continue to make the same good food choices and feel good about it.
I USED TO BE an agreeable sort and never disagree with anyone...
NOW I AM a person who stands up for what I believe is right for me and for the good of others.
AND I WILL BE one to continue to do so.
I USED TO BE invisible....
Now I AM very visible.
AND I WILL BE visible and comfortable in my new body.
I USED TO BE a person who walked hunched and never made eye contact...
NOW I AM an individual who walks with confidence, head up, shoulders back and eye contact with a smile.
AND I WILL BE one who continues to do so.
I USED TO BE a person others scorned or ridiculed...
NOW I AM someone that others respect.
AND WILL BE someone others admire.
I USED TO BE an object of pity...
NOW I AM that no more.
AND I WILL BE never again.
I USED TO BE someone who would buy clothes to hide my body behind...
NOW I AM someone who doesn't mind shopping for new clothes for myself.
AND WILL BE someone who buys clothes that actually fit.
I USED TO BE classified as morbidly obese...
NOW I AM just obese.
AND I WILL BE a normal healthy weight and BMI.
I USED TO BE a size 32
NOW I AM a size 18-20
AND I WILL BE a size 16 very soon.
I USED TO BE 360 lbs.
NOW I AM lbs. 269 lbs
AND I WILL BE 170 lbs.
I USED TO BE someone with a blood pressure of 160/100
NOW I AM someone with a blood pressure of 120/68
AND I WILL BE someone continuing to be successful at keeping my blood pressure down.
I USED TO BE a person who never stopped eating...
NOW I AM a person who stops before she is full.
AND I WILL BE a person who only eats for fuel not pleasure.
I USED TO BE someone I hated.
NOW I AM becoming someone I like.
AND I WILL BE someone whom I love.
I USED TO BE someone who only dreamed of reaching for her goals...
NOW I AM someone who has achieved her goals and created new ones.
AND I WILL BE someone who reaches the stars to become one herself.
WHO DID YOU USE TO BE? WHO ARE YOU NOW? AND WHO WILL YOU BE?
Thank you for your inspiration Angela! You continue to inspire me EVERY DAY!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Inner Strength
Wow...the past couple of weeks have been a blur... I've had so many things - and good things happen to me in such a short period of time. Two Saturdays ago, my friend Jeanette and I went to the Y together to work out - she was interested in knowing a little more about deadlifts, and the free weights. I was so excited and happy to show her what I have learned. As I was showing her how to do a proper deadlift, a guy came up to us and told me that he had been watching me for the past couple of weeks and noticed that I was using great form with all my exercises. He asked if I had trained with a personal trainer. I told him yes and he said that it showed. Anyway, it felt great inside knowing that someone else noticed that I take my exercise regime seriously. It gave me that extra confidence boost! Jeanette did a super great job with her deadlifts and I am looking forward to working out with her every other Saturday...it will be great to have a workout buddy and to have someone there to push me!
This past Tuesday, I showed up at my regular spin class. Tammy, the instructor came up to me as I was setting up my bike before class started. I have never really talked to her except to say hi and the odd little conversation here and there. She came right out and told me that she has never met anyone as dedicated to my exercise and my health as me. She told me that my "cardio endurance must be incredible" and then she told me that I was an inspiration to HER. I was a inspiration to her?? I was speechless...I mean, I've had my other instructors and trainers say that they are proud of me and that I've done a great job, but never have I been told I'm an inspiration to them. I've been told by my peers that I inspire them to lead a better lifestyle - but not someone of an authority type figure. I was taken aback, and very humbled by her comment. What a great memory to have!
I also ended this week on a really high note. After being on Seroquel - an anti-psychotic medication that my doctor prescribed for me for my chronic insomnia issues after my mother died - for almost three years, I FINALLY weaned myself off of it entirely. I have tried four times unsucessfully to get off the stuff and this last time, with a huge amount of patience and perseverance, I did it. My brain is still feeling some of the aftershock type "twinges" that people can get from ceasing the drug - my doctor says it may take up to six months before it's entirely out of my system, but whatever...I've done it and won't ever be going back. I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends, co-workers and family - in particular my husband Brian - who have been there for me while I have been going through my withdrawl periods. Your patience and your understanding have been incredible. Thank you.
I had an interesting experience yesterday morning at the Y while I was working out. I was laying on my mat in the stretching area doing my ab routine when this woman came and laid down beside me. She immediately started talking to me. I was polite, but basically just tuned her out. That was until she insulted me. She said "You know, I know of some special shakes that I can sell to people as big as you." Now, I know what you are probably thinking...WTF!? Seriously??!! And I won't lie - I was furious. But you know what I did? I laughed at her. I looked her straight in the eye and said "Well YOU know...there are special drugs that stupid people like you can take and there is botox and creams out there to help with your ugly, wrinkled, over-sun-baked leathery skin!" I smiled at her again and proceeded to get up - I then told her to have a great day. As I walked away, I looked back at her and she was still laying there with her mouth gaped open in surprise. I'm sure she was pretty embarrassed. I hope she was. It was a rude, and hurtful thing to say - even if she did think she was meaning well. The old me probably would have started yelling at her and maybe even popped her one in the mouth. But I didn't...I walked away and laughed. Stupid people like that are worth laughing at. They don't deserve my time and energy. I am proud of myself.
I am also getting closer to my 100 lb goal. I don't want to say how many pounds I'm down now as I don't want to jinx it! It shouldn't be long though...will keep everyone posted!
Love and hugs to all!
K
This past Tuesday, I showed up at my regular spin class. Tammy, the instructor came up to me as I was setting up my bike before class started. I have never really talked to her except to say hi and the odd little conversation here and there. She came right out and told me that she has never met anyone as dedicated to my exercise and my health as me. She told me that my "cardio endurance must be incredible" and then she told me that I was an inspiration to HER. I was a inspiration to her?? I was speechless...I mean, I've had my other instructors and trainers say that they are proud of me and that I've done a great job, but never have I been told I'm an inspiration to them. I've been told by my peers that I inspire them to lead a better lifestyle - but not someone of an authority type figure. I was taken aback, and very humbled by her comment. What a great memory to have!
I also ended this week on a really high note. After being on Seroquel - an anti-psychotic medication that my doctor prescribed for me for my chronic insomnia issues after my mother died - for almost three years, I FINALLY weaned myself off of it entirely. I have tried four times unsucessfully to get off the stuff and this last time, with a huge amount of patience and perseverance, I did it. My brain is still feeling some of the aftershock type "twinges" that people can get from ceasing the drug - my doctor says it may take up to six months before it's entirely out of my system, but whatever...I've done it and won't ever be going back. I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends, co-workers and family - in particular my husband Brian - who have been there for me while I have been going through my withdrawl periods. Your patience and your understanding have been incredible. Thank you.
I had an interesting experience yesterday morning at the Y while I was working out. I was laying on my mat in the stretching area doing my ab routine when this woman came and laid down beside me. She immediately started talking to me. I was polite, but basically just tuned her out. That was until she insulted me. She said "You know, I know of some special shakes that I can sell to people as big as you." Now, I know what you are probably thinking...WTF!? Seriously??!! And I won't lie - I was furious. But you know what I did? I laughed at her. I looked her straight in the eye and said "Well YOU know...there are special drugs that stupid people like you can take and there is botox and creams out there to help with your ugly, wrinkled, over-sun-baked leathery skin!" I smiled at her again and proceeded to get up - I then told her to have a great day. As I walked away, I looked back at her and she was still laying there with her mouth gaped open in surprise. I'm sure she was pretty embarrassed. I hope she was. It was a rude, and hurtful thing to say - even if she did think she was meaning well. The old me probably would have started yelling at her and maybe even popped her one in the mouth. But I didn't...I walked away and laughed. Stupid people like that are worth laughing at. They don't deserve my time and energy. I am proud of myself.
I am also getting closer to my 100 lb goal. I don't want to say how many pounds I'm down now as I don't want to jinx it! It shouldn't be long though...will keep everyone posted!
Love and hugs to all!
K
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The "Other" Woman
It's been a bit of an crazy up and down two weeks.
I went to the Y this past Saturday morning to do my usual "crazy" strength training workout. I love Saturday mornings at the Y. Everybody there is serious and ready to really work out and train their bodies. There is hardly any waiting for benches and everyone is courteous to everyone else. Something happened to me yesterday. Something I hadn't noticed before. I was standing there, doing my bicep curls - making sure I was watching myself in the mirror - watching my form...then I did something I have never done before. I REALLY looked at myself...and the other woman in the mirror hardly looked like me - or so I felt that way. My jaw dropped. I almost dropped the weights on my feet in fact lol...as I walked up closer to the mirror to get a closer look, the tears started. I noticed my collar bones. I noticed my neck. I noticed that I didn't have a double chin. I noticed my eyes. Then I looked down and noticed the rest of my body - I had a much smaller waist and my legs had some form to them instead of my big old sausage legs.
I have had people tell me how great I look. They have been telling me this for a long time now.
The thing is...
Is that I had to finally notice this for MYSELF.
I'm sure I made quite a scene. The poor big muscle guy next to me actually dropped what he was doing and came up to me and asked me if I was okay. My response? "I'm SO okay! I am AWESOME thanks!" He just shrugged his shoulders, and smiled and proceeded to go back to what he was doing. I went back to doing my bicep curls. I think I must have done about 100 of those babies, cause man do my biceps hurt today! lol
Sometimes I still feel like 360 lb Kristy. I will go shopping for clothes and immediately go to the 5-6x section - and then the other woman will smack me upside the head and say "look it! Smarten up will you? You are no longer that big anymore - start thinking like the new you!"
This will all take some time to get used to I am sure of it - but I will get there. I have lots of time and this is no race.
I also decided last week after going to the blood donor clinic to try and taper off my Seroquel again. This will be like the third time in trying this. The nurse at the clinic told me that if they tried to give my blood to someone that needed it, that I could kill them if the Seroquel was still in my blood. This factor only makes me want to try harder to get off the stuff. I don't need it anymore. I am strong and I can do this. So far, I have felt pretty light headed and weird, but overall I am doing okay. I wasn't very happy with my weight gain this week as I gained a little - 0.8 lbs only though - but I contribute that to the Seroquel tapering. My body is trying to adjust to so much and it's probably just freaking out.
Wish me luck! I am hoping by this time next week, that I will be almost off the stuff.
Hope everyone has a fantastic week!
Kris
I went to the Y this past Saturday morning to do my usual "crazy" strength training workout. I love Saturday mornings at the Y. Everybody there is serious and ready to really work out and train their bodies. There is hardly any waiting for benches and everyone is courteous to everyone else. Something happened to me yesterday. Something I hadn't noticed before. I was standing there, doing my bicep curls - making sure I was watching myself in the mirror - watching my form...then I did something I have never done before. I REALLY looked at myself...and the other woman in the mirror hardly looked like me - or so I felt that way. My jaw dropped. I almost dropped the weights on my feet in fact lol...as I walked up closer to the mirror to get a closer look, the tears started. I noticed my collar bones. I noticed my neck. I noticed that I didn't have a double chin. I noticed my eyes. Then I looked down and noticed the rest of my body - I had a much smaller waist and my legs had some form to them instead of my big old sausage legs.
I have had people tell me how great I look. They have been telling me this for a long time now.
The thing is...
Is that I had to finally notice this for MYSELF.
I'm sure I made quite a scene. The poor big muscle guy next to me actually dropped what he was doing and came up to me and asked me if I was okay. My response? "I'm SO okay! I am AWESOME thanks!" He just shrugged his shoulders, and smiled and proceeded to go back to what he was doing. I went back to doing my bicep curls. I think I must have done about 100 of those babies, cause man do my biceps hurt today! lol
Sometimes I still feel like 360 lb Kristy. I will go shopping for clothes and immediately go to the 5-6x section - and then the other woman will smack me upside the head and say "look it! Smarten up will you? You are no longer that big anymore - start thinking like the new you!"
This will all take some time to get used to I am sure of it - but I will get there. I have lots of time and this is no race.
I also decided last week after going to the blood donor clinic to try and taper off my Seroquel again. This will be like the third time in trying this. The nurse at the clinic told me that if they tried to give my blood to someone that needed it, that I could kill them if the Seroquel was still in my blood. This factor only makes me want to try harder to get off the stuff. I don't need it anymore. I am strong and I can do this. So far, I have felt pretty light headed and weird, but overall I am doing okay. I wasn't very happy with my weight gain this week as I gained a little - 0.8 lbs only though - but I contribute that to the Seroquel tapering. My body is trying to adjust to so much and it's probably just freaking out.
Wish me luck! I am hoping by this time next week, that I will be almost off the stuff.
Hope everyone has a fantastic week!
Kris
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)