Well here I am...I am exactly FIVE days away from surgery and almost done my pre-op diet. I'm so glad it's almost over - at least the pre op part anyway...the next part of my journey is really just beginning. Lots of people have been asking me if I'm nervous...the answer to that of course, is yes...I'm nervous about the general anesthetic and the overnight stay in the hospital. But I know everything will go smoothly - my body is strong and healthy and I have made it that way. I saw Veronica (my therapist) on Friday and we chatted a little about my "nervousness" and we talked about all of the "tools" I have acquired that I can use for when I get to the hospital (or wake up that morning lol) and start to get nervous...I will utilize those tools (or strategies) to the best of my ability and will do just fine.
My weight today is 305.1 lbs - I have lost 22.8 lbs since I started the pre op diet on January 20th. Already, I am starting to notice changes in myself, not just physically - but mentally also...I'm feeling stronger than I have in a long time - I know how determined I am and know that I can do this. It was a bit of a rough week food-wise at work this week, by this I mean lots of temptations...Thursday and Friday our department had cake - and I totally got through it...was it hard? Heck ya, but I kept saying to myself that I had come WAY too far to screw it up now...besides - I don't think any of my co-workers would even let me near the stuff anyways...they have been very supportive of me and I am grateful. I also can't believe I've made it through almost three weeks on 900 calories a day - and I've managed to keep my workouts up - less intense than normal, but I still manage to sweat by the time it's over!
I'd would just like to thank everyone that has helped me and supported me during this three week "learning experience." Thank you to my friends and family that have been there to listen when I wanted to give up AND put up with my ridiculous mood swings...to my co-workers that wouldn't even let me near the "food drawer" (lol) and to my ALIVE Family who have been supporting me and helping me push through this...My trainer Ben has been so supportive and always manages to make my workouts fun, but still challenging...there were a couple of times this past week that I came to my workouts in a bad mood, but always finished with a smile on my face. Holly has also been awesome - taking the time to chat with me and help me feel better. I know I always say this...but I am convinced that if I had not found out about ALIVE I know I wouldn't be where I am today. I would probably still be sitting in front of my TV - and stuffing my face with ice cream and blaming everyone but myself for the way I was.
Now I just want to shout it out to the world how happy I am...how excited I am...
Change is a comin'!