Sunday, January 23, 2011


So - Thursday was the big day...I started my pre-op diet.  For those of you that don't know (which I would find hard to believe, because it's pretty much the only thing I've been talking about lately!) my diet now consists of four Opifast shakes and all of the non-starchy vegetables I want.  This equals about 900 calories a day. 

The first two days - I won't lie...were absolutely brutal.  It's been rough as I've been trying to train my brain to adjust to the fewer calories.  I was weak, headachey, tired, slow (in the head) and of course, cranky!  But I've had AMAZING support from my family, my friends, my co-workers and my other family at ALIVE.  I've been leaning on them for the support I need - I have a hard time for some reason asking for help...I've been that way for a long time...this is going to need to change for me to be successful on this journey and I will be working on it.  Yesterday, when I woke up, I felt quite a bit better and today I feel about the same so hopefully my body has finally started to adjust.  I've also kept up on my workouts - but at a much lighter, modified pace.  Ben has planned all my workouts for me which is really great...the exercise definitely helps me to feel more relaxed and balanced which I need... :-)

This week I was also reminded again, that what I'm doing is for ME...that I need to take care of myself and keep going...on Thursday, I found out that a friend from high school had passed away - he was type one diabetic, smoked, drank, and did drugs...yet another person I have known that has done this to themselves.  He was only 39 years old.  I was in shock as his obituary picture stared back at me.  Why??!  Well, only he knows why he chose the path that he did.  I am just going to keep plugging away and working hard...I have learned some hard lessons, but I have managed to turn them into learning experiences and personal gain.

I'm also learning to eat.  I know this sounds silly, but it's the truth.  Before I started the pre-op diet, I wouldn't really think about what I was putting in my mouth - it just became automatic...for instance - this past Thursday evening when I got home from the gym, I went to the fridge to grab the fixings for my shake...I was ravenous...I glanced up and immediately grabbed a container of blackberries - grabbed three of them and crammed them into my mouth - WITHOUT EVEN I started to chew, I realized - WTF am I doing?!  I immediately realized what I was doing, spit them out and rinsed my mouth out.  I find it amazing how we use food to soothe our emotions - I was frustrated and anxious about starting my pre-op diet - and just grabbed whatever was there - whatever would make me feel better.  I haven't done it since - I think I'm pretty aware of it now and will keep that under control... :-)

So - that's my first few days on pre-op...I really hope these three weeks fly by...I think there is only so much green beans and asparagus I can handle!


  1. You are doing awesome, remember what you are doing today, is for better tomorrow! I loveyou. Keep your head up and eyes open! :o)

  2. It's hard when the body is detoxing itself and amazing how it lets you know it's not happy with you. Good for you for hanging in there and keep it up!! Carrie R