Commitment

com·mit·ment  [kuh-mit-muhnt]


–noun


1. the act of committing.


2. the state of being committed.


3. the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

What exactly is commitment??  When I read through these three definitions, I stop at number 2 and giggle...number one seems pretty close to the way I see it, but number three is where I would truly like to be.  I know that in order for my weight loss journey to be successful, I must commit to myself a whole lot more.  Back in January when I started my pre op diet I was hugely commited to myself...in the past week, not so much.  I found myself making some wrong food choices, and my exercise was WAY down.  This was the first time in almost two years that I actually didn't feel like working out.  I started off the week with an awesome hot yoga class - for those of you that have never tried hot yoga before, I would definitely encourage you to try it.  I must warn everyone tho - you will sweat like you have never sweat before...it didn't just drip out of me...it POURED and ROLLED out of me...lol  At first, I was really nervous - worried I wouldn't be able to stay in the room for more than 5 minutes...but once the class started, I was commited.  It ended up being their hardest class too - but my friend Randi and I did it!  It was also great for my joints - I was shocked by the amount that I could do - I could move the way I wanted without limits and pain.  It was just a great experience for me overall - something I will definitely try again.  I did Kendra's bootcamps also, but the rest of the time I just didn't do anything...it felt weird and I didn't like it. 

This was the first week ever that I felt as though I was failing at this...by saying this, I mean this whole journey that I have been working hard on.  I feel lost...and I feel alone.  I know that nobody can lose this weight for me and I know that nobody else can make me happy but me.  Every week lately seems like a broken record...same things going through my head...then me telling myself that I must make that commitment to myself and start doing this for me.  I am afraid at failing and letting myself down...undoing all of my hard work.  I just keep telling myself if I could just get a hold on my "head stuff" that I'm golden...I've got this...

Starting right now - I am going to make a commitment to myself.  I will no longer make shitty food choices...I will figure out what I need to do to get in some form of activity every day.  Even if it is just going out for a walk in the evening...I will commit to stop the negative self talk and worrying about failing all the time.  Everyone has a "blip" in their journey and I am finally figuring out that this is my "blip." 

What are you doing to stay commited to yourself?  Are you commited enough to want to succeed?  How badly do you want this?  Are you willing to do anything to reach your goals?  These are all the questions I am asking myself once again...I DO want this...I AM commited and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get my weight loss on the move again.

And lastly..."Don't think about it...DO it."  Something that my trainer Ben has told me over and over and over...

So this week...I'm gonna DO it!