I guess it's been a while since I was here last.
Things have been interesting to say the least.
I went back to my doctor this past week for the third time - I just have not been feeling like myself at all lately. I was nervous about talking to him - I know, it sounds silly, but seeing as I don't know him that well, I felt weird. He actually sat down and we had a good 20 min conversation about everything that was going on with me. His opinion? He thinks I may have S.A.D.- or Seasonal Affective Disorder. My vitamin D levels that he checked a few months ago were quite low, so he said that may explain a few things too. He was also a bit leaning towards the depression/anxiety side - and gave me a prescription for Celexa and made me promise to follow up with him in a month.
I also took the liberty of booking an appointment with a therapist. Again. I guess it's time!
I will work through this. I will combat it and will not let it consume me.
On the great side, I've amped up my exercise - which always helps make me feel better. It's my natural tranquilizer. Whenever I am feeling rough, all I need to do is hop on a spin bike and I feel relief.
I also celebrated my 41st Birthday a couple of weeks ago. It was an awesome evening. It was wonderful to see everyone too. I wore a dress that my friend Angela gave me - a year ago. She gave it to me as she had lost so much weight, she was too tiny for it! She gave it to me one evening after we had a workout together and told me I would fit into it soon. Not believing her (or myself for that matter) I just put it in my closet and there it sat for over a year. I decided to take it out a month ago...I put it on and low and behold...it fit! I fit into a size 18 dress! It wasn't that long ago, I was wearing a size 28! It felt great!
It was a fun evening...and went on the rest of the week!
Cheers to better days ahead!
K
I love my therapist. Plain and simple. She gets me. We had a great session on Tuesday - we mostly talked about my sleeping habits - which are slowly getting better btw - but a lot of the session we talked about finding balance in my life. For the last three years, it's been almost all about my exercise and eating plan. I haven't really had a lot of time to do other things that make me happy. This may sound silly, but I used to get anxious when I couldn't work out - I was worried I was going to get fatter again. We discussed how I can still be dedicated to my lifestyle, but STILL have a life. I have started to change things up a bit with my exercise program - I've been doing more strength training and I feel pretty good. I still stick to my cardio three times a week, because it's important. I'm also trying out the new yoga class which I've been meaning to go to, but haven't found a gap in my schedule. This Sunday I will be doing that. So, the point to all of this, is to find a happy-medium - to be happy with what I'm doing - and to have fun. This will be a work in progress!
On Tuesday, I celebrated my 3 year "Healthy Birthday." Three years ago, I walked into Alive Personal Training - not knowing what to expect - I was scared, mad, sad and out of control. I am so glad I made the decision to get healthy. Through all of that, I was selected to receive my lap-band. It's been such a whirlwind for me, but I'm happy. Here is How It All Began!
So if you are someone who is just interested in starting out on a Weight Loss Journey, kudos to you! Just remember, it's a life-long journey...there is no end point. Take each day as it comes and don't look back!
K
I had a really great Birthday this year for my 40th. It was an opportunity to get the people that I love the most together...there were some people there whom I hadn't seen in a few years and it was really nice to see them. One of my best friends Heather and her family and my friend Carrie from my CGIT years were there - SO wonderful to see them! I hope this means we will be seeing more of each other.
When I look back at my pictures from my birthday three years ago - before I started my journey, I am amazed at how far I have come. I am VERY proud and very happy with my progress so far - the pic below is from my Birthday in 2009:
And here is my pic from last weekend:
Not only have I lost weight, but I have gained strength, and self-confidence. I think I look younger in the most recent picture too, which is kinda cool.
All in all...it was a pretty good day and evening all around.
So...onto other things...for the past couple of weeks, I have been slipping a bit. While my exercise regime has been pretty good - other than my shitty knees giving me problems from time to time - the "mental" aspect hasn't entirely been there for me. I've gotten into the pattern of negative self talk from time to time and thought it was best to "nip it in the bud" per say, so I booked an appointment with the Psychologist in my Lap-Band Program. Her name is Joanne and she's incredible. In my 50 minute appointment with her, she knew more about me than I could imagine. I talked to her about all of my stresses, and my self-doubts. She's a tough cookie - and that's exactly what I needed. We set up a plan for me to work on some of my issues and she even had me write down everything that we had talked about in the session. As my "homework assignment" she told me to remember to bring the card back with me to my next appointment and go through each of the points I had written down on the card with her. When I walked out of her office, I felt like I finally had some control back. It felt great.
I see her again in two weeks and am looking forward to it!
Today is my Birthday...I turn 39...one more year until the big 4-0! This coming year is going to be full of excitement, accomplishments, change and of course I'm sure there will be a disappointment here and there along the way. But I am preparing myself the best way that I can - with that in mind, I have set up 10 goals - some personal (non scale type goals) and some physical (exercise)...
My goals before I reach the age of 40 are:
1. I want to be able to cross my legs. I haven't been able to do this in about 20 years. Guess it's time I started acting like a woman...lol
2. I want to be able to do 10 man's pushups without stopping.
3. I would like to be in a size 18-20 - pants, size large for my tops.
4. Speaking of sizes - how about a D cup for a bra size??
5. As much as I HATE doing them - I want to hold a plank for two minutes.
6. To appreciate veggies more - I got close up and personal with them for my pre op stage and actually don't mind them...I would like to try different ones tho - no more cucumber!
7. To make myself happy...not depend on others for it.
8. To deadlift what I used to - 265 lbs...and if I am able - higher
9. To do three unassisted pull-ups.
10. By my next birthday - I would like to be in the low 200's...and if possible out of the 200's all together.
So those are my 10 specific goals I would like to achieve by the time I hit 40. I will take it day by day and know that if I work hard, I will achieve them!
On another note - my healing continues - I've been feeling great and have been getting in my exercise. I kickboxed for 15 minutes last night - then went on the treadmill and did jogging intervals...I'm really happy about my progress. Today I start with soft foods...this means I can have eggs! I can't wait until I get my first fill in six weeks - then I can really get this show on the road. I'm also losing about a pound a day and loving that - I know it will even itself out eventually, but for now I am just going to enjoy the steady loss...something I haven't been able to enjoy for ME!
