Wow...has it really been two years? I'm still finding myself thinking about how crazy of a ride it has been...some days it just seems like yesterday that I walked through the doors at Alive Personal Training and changed my life - for the better. I blogged about my first Anniversary in 20 Things! and am pleased with my progress that I have made over the course of this year. I have gone through so much change physically and mentally, that I have had a few issues in keeping up with it all - but I know with some more determination, hard work and self-reliance, that I can and will reach all of my goals both physically and mentally...
I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you that has taken the time to read my blog, chat with me and support me along the way...losing weight is one of the hardest things to do on earth and your friendships and support have helped me in more ways than can be said.
As many of you know, I do have some issues when it comes to change in my life - and this year so far has proved to be one of the most challenging for me. The biggest change was having my surgery for my lap-band, and getting used to eating less and more slowly - that is still something that I am working on and getting used to and will be for some time. Then, Alive closed and I am now faced with a pretty big change in my exercise routine. I know I can do it and with some adjusting and working through things on my part, I will be able to do anything I set my heart out to do. My trainers Ben and Kendra have helped instill the "exercise bug" in me and I will not stop. For a while I was worried I was going to give up - but every time I thought that way, I would kill it - there is no way I can even phathom the fact of giving up on exercise... I can't wait until next year when I can look back on my pictures again and notice even more changes...
Either way, I will get there...I have my friends and I have my family...but most of all...I have myself. I AM strong and capable of anything I set my mind out to do.
Thanks everyone! :-)
XOXO
Kris
Showing posts with label self-reliance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-reliance. Show all posts
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Goodbye Negative Thoughts!
This blog entry has taken me about 90 mins just to figure out what I want to type. I've got so much "stuff" in my head that I want to say, but it's mostly in fragments. I apologize in advance if it's all over the place!
Well - I'm happy to say I have "recovered" from last week's post. Work has seemed to get a bit better, along with other aspects in my life. I did stress about a few stupid things, but quickly caught myself and put a stop to it. One thing I've been noticing and it's quite obvious to me is, while my body is losing weight, and feeling good, my brain has not quite caught up with it. I keep getting this negative voice in my head that keeps telling me I'm not worth it, I'm gross, and I'm useless - now I know this is entirely not true - I know in my heart that being hard on myself like this is not going to help my weight loss...but I keep doing it. I've been working with Veronica (my therapist) for quite a while on this - about six months in fact and the "homework" she had me do this past month, was to "confront" this negative voice - to actually talk to it OUTLOUD and tell it it had no business being in my head and talking to me that way - and I had to do this whenever and wherever the thought would come up. I'm smiling right now as I type because I'm remembering me sitting on the bus and heading to work and this happening - and the looks that I got...oh well - whatever - at least I fit in with the rest of them! Anybody that rides Calgary Transit knows what I am talking about!
This week had me thinking a lot about how I even began my lap-band journey. I think about that evening last June when we got home from the gym and finding that letter from the Weight Management Program - I remember reading through it, rolling my eyes and throwing it in the garbage! Then I remember telling Ben about it and him encouraging me to "go for it" and that this could only help me along my weight loss journey. Ultimately yes, it was my decision to make and I thought long and hard about it and I'm so glad I decided to do it. I've also been thinking about a couple of my physical "breakthroughs" last summer. I started tapering down on this drug called Seroquel that I was on to help me relax and sleep. I was on as much as 150 mgs of the stuff - while I was going through withdrawl all summer long as I was tapering off the stuff, I would come to my workouts either dizzy, nauseated, or having the shakes - and the most amazing thing was that Ben did not lose patience with me - I don't think there are many (if any) personal trainers out there that would take the time to be patient when it comes to stuff like this. Whenever I would feel like giving up, he was there to guide me back on track - to help me see the bigger picture. Both he and Holly have been very important in my life - by both going above and beyond to help me stay focused to reach my goal. Kendra has also helped me a great deal - at the start of the summer last year, she had me kickboxing up and down the parking lot at ALIVE. She pushed me beyond what I thought in my head that I was capable of. She helped me to believe that I can do anything I set my heart out to do - and finish it.
So, I know that with more determination, self-reliance and strength inside and out, I will be able to reach my goals that I set out for myself back on my birthday in February. The only person I am up against is ME. I am going keep challenging my negative thoughts and quash them. I will not let them control me...anymore.
I am in the driver's seat.
Well - I'm happy to say I have "recovered" from last week's post. Work has seemed to get a bit better, along with other aspects in my life. I did stress about a few stupid things, but quickly caught myself and put a stop to it. One thing I've been noticing and it's quite obvious to me is, while my body is losing weight, and feeling good, my brain has not quite caught up with it. I keep getting this negative voice in my head that keeps telling me I'm not worth it, I'm gross, and I'm useless - now I know this is entirely not true - I know in my heart that being hard on myself like this is not going to help my weight loss...but I keep doing it. I've been working with Veronica (my therapist) for quite a while on this - about six months in fact and the "homework" she had me do this past month, was to "confront" this negative voice - to actually talk to it OUTLOUD and tell it it had no business being in my head and talking to me that way - and I had to do this whenever and wherever the thought would come up. I'm smiling right now as I type because I'm remembering me sitting on the bus and heading to work and this happening - and the looks that I got...oh well - whatever - at least I fit in with the rest of them! Anybody that rides Calgary Transit knows what I am talking about!
This week had me thinking a lot about how I even began my lap-band journey. I think about that evening last June when we got home from the gym and finding that letter from the Weight Management Program - I remember reading through it, rolling my eyes and throwing it in the garbage! Then I remember telling Ben about it and him encouraging me to "go for it" and that this could only help me along my weight loss journey. Ultimately yes, it was my decision to make and I thought long and hard about it and I'm so glad I decided to do it. I've also been thinking about a couple of my physical "breakthroughs" last summer. I started tapering down on this drug called Seroquel that I was on to help me relax and sleep. I was on as much as 150 mgs of the stuff - while I was going through withdrawl all summer long as I was tapering off the stuff, I would come to my workouts either dizzy, nauseated, or having the shakes - and the most amazing thing was that Ben did not lose patience with me - I don't think there are many (if any) personal trainers out there that would take the time to be patient when it comes to stuff like this. Whenever I would feel like giving up, he was there to guide me back on track - to help me see the bigger picture. Both he and Holly have been very important in my life - by both going above and beyond to help me stay focused to reach my goal. Kendra has also helped me a great deal - at the start of the summer last year, she had me kickboxing up and down the parking lot at ALIVE. She pushed me beyond what I thought in my head that I was capable of. She helped me to believe that I can do anything I set my heart out to do - and finish it.
So, I know that with more determination, self-reliance and strength inside and out, I will be able to reach my goals that I set out for myself back on my birthday in February. The only person I am up against is ME. I am going keep challenging my negative thoughts and quash them. I will not let them control me...anymore.
I am in the driver's seat.
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