Have Patience!

Well here I am again...two weeks in a row in fact. 

I've had a pretty damn good week, and it ended even better this morning with the awesome news that a friend of a friend had woken up from her two week coma.  She had been diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia and had to be intubated.  This past Tuesday, her family had been told that all hope was lost and she was not going to wake up, and her lungs were so necrosed from the infection.  Well lo and behold, this morning she opened her eyes and knew who everyone was and what was going on.  It's going to be a long haul of healing for her, but at least we know she will be fine.

I saw my lap band dietitian and surgeon on Friday.  I won't deny it, I was nervous and worried about how the whole thing was going to go down.  I chatted for a while with the dietitian and when I told her about what my therapist had told me she was quite disappointed with what I had been told.  We also agreed that I had not been coming in enough to get my fills - in other words, I had not been using my band to the fullest.  By the end of our meeting, we had made a deal that I was going to make regular monthly appointments to get my fills until I had hit my sweet spot and start losing regularly.  She was impressed with the fact that I had lost over 9 lbs in two weeks - but that I need to lean on them more and work my band the way it's supposed to.  My surgeon agreed with all of this and was really great with me.  When I told him I was considering getting my band removed, he replied with "You know Kristy, there is a reason you were chosen for this surgery.  You have the determination, and perseverance and discipline to do this, so I think you just need to have more patience and work the band like it's supposed to."  He gave me .4cc's and I have to say, it feels like it's the most restriction I have ever had.  I now have a total of 6.6 cc's in my 10 cc band.  Other than an episode with some peanut butter yesterday, I've been really cautious with what I put in my mouth and the amount I put in my mouth.  I only eat until I am no longer hungry and it feels good.  I hope this amount of restriction stays.

Another great thing to happen this week was that I deadlifted 215 lbs on Wednesday.  I wasn't sure if I could do it, but with Patrick and Brian pushing me and supporting me to get there, I did it.  It felt so good to get back to that point again.  My knees felt good aftewards and the only thing to bother me a bit was my right elbow - which is kind of weird but whatever.  I am hoping to up the weight by 5 lbs this week so we will see. 

Also, on Friday I when I stepped on the scale, I managed to lose 1.3 lbs.  That's 9.3 lbs in two weeks!  I have been so careful with what I've been eating lately.  I do admit, I have had a couple of minor oops's at work, but I've really tried hard to use my willpower skills :-)

This week is going to be even better...I can feel it!

Have a great week everyone!

A New Goal

When I started my Journey over three years ago, Ben (my trainer) and I sat down and wrote down some goals that I wanted to achieve.  We talked about how I wanted to be healthier and thinner, and we talked about how I wanted to be happy.  While I have worked extremely hard at achieving these, they will always be an ongoing work in progress. 

I have set a new goal for myself.  I don't want to obsess about my weight anymore.  To be honest...it's really getting to me.  I will lose 10 pounds, then I'm up three...then I will lose three and be up two...

Get my drift?

Back in the fall of 2009, Ben introduced me to deadlifting.  It was by far one of the exercises/drills he would have me do, and to be honest, I ROCKED at it.  I ended up lifting as heavy as 265 lbs.  My goal at that time was 300 lbs, but I never did it.  I let my head crap get the best of me.  Ben told me back then that he felt I could compete if I wanted to.  At that point in my journey, I had so much garbage going on in my head - that I decided I couldn't do it.  I had an obstacle in front of me - telling me that I couldn't do it.  The obstacle was myself.  So...I let it all go - decided I couldn't do it anymore and just tried to forget about it.

Until this past Saturday.  Brian and I were at the YMCA working out and I decided I wanted to try to deadlift again.  I have deadlifted from time to time since 2009, but have never really taken it seriously.  Saturday, for some reason, I did.  I did sets of five, each time going heavier and heavier.  Then when I was taking a break, I looked to my left and saw this woman doing the exact same thing I was doing...I watched her out of the corner of my eye - she was doing snatches and cleans with heavy weight - I was amazed...we both looked at each other at the same time and so I complimented her.  She came up to me and we started talking - I told her I had lifted as heavy as 265 lbs - and that I was wanting to work towards that again.  She told me that I should be competing, if I wanted to lift that heavy.  She told me I had great form and all I needed were some minor tweaks and to work on my breathing techniques.  That's when she told me she had been a Women's Olympic Weight Lifting Coach.  She gave me her name - which is Lynn - and she gave me her number and email address.  The we went for a walk around the track and she gave me a "pep talk."  She said if I needed ANY help at all, that she would help me get into competition "mode."  We also talked a little bit about diet and things like that.  I have already sent her an email and hope to hear back from her soon. 

I now feel I have the confidence to do this.  I want to be healthier and more fit of course, but I also want to be stronger than I ever had been in my life - and I am well on my way.  I know with the proper coaching, and perseverance and hard work on my part, I can do it.  I've always had the outer strength to do this - now I need to work harder on my inner strength!

I'm excited...I have a new goal to work towards...Weightlifting competition...HERE I COME!

Inner Strength

Wow...the past couple of weeks have been a blur...  I've had so many things - and good things happen to me in such a short period of time.  Two Saturdays ago, my friend Jeanette and I went to the Y together to work out - she was interested in knowing a little more about deadlifts, and the free weights.  I was so excited and happy to show her what I have learned.  As I was showing her how to do a proper deadlift, a guy came up to us and told me that he had been watching me for the past couple of weeks and noticed that I was using great form with all my exercises.  He asked if I had trained with a personal trainer.  I told him yes and he said that it showed.  Anyway, it felt great inside knowing that someone else noticed that I take my exercise regime seriously.  It gave me that extra confidence boost!  Jeanette did a super great job with her deadlifts and I am looking forward to working out with her every other Saturday...it will be great to have a workout buddy and to have someone there to push me!

This past Tuesday, I showed up at my regular spin class.  Tammy, the instructor came up to me as I was setting up my bike before class started.  I have never really talked to her except to say hi and the odd little conversation here and there.  She came right out and told me that she has never met anyone as dedicated to my exercise and my health as me.  She told me that my "cardio endurance must be incredible" and then she told me that I was an inspiration to HER.  I was a inspiration to her??  I was speechless...I mean, I've had my other instructors and trainers say that they are proud of me and that I've done a great job, but never have I been told I'm an inspiration to them.  I've been told by my peers that I inspire them to lead a better lifestyle - but not someone of an authority type figure.  I was taken aback, and very humbled by her comment.  What a great memory to have!

I also ended this week on a really high note.  After being on Seroquel - an anti-psychotic medication that my doctor prescribed for me for my chronic insomnia issues after my mother died - for almost three years, I FINALLY weaned myself off of it entirely.  I have tried four times unsucessfully to get off the stuff and this last time, with a huge amount of patience and perseverance, I did it.  My brain is still feeling some of the aftershock type "twinges" that people can get from ceasing the drug - my doctor says it may take up to six months before it's entirely out of my system, but whatever...I've done it and won't ever be going back.  I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to all of my friends, co-workers and family - in particular my husband Brian - who have been there for me while I have been going through my withdrawl periods.  Your patience and your understanding have been incredible.  Thank you.

I had an interesting experience yesterday morning at the Y while I was working out.  I was laying on my mat in the stretching area doing my ab routine when this woman came and laid down beside me.  She immediately started talking to me.  I was polite, but basically just tuned her out.  That was until she insulted me.  She said "You know, I know of some special shakes that I can sell to people as big as you."  Now, I know what you are probably thinking...WTF!?  Seriously??!!  And I won't lie - I was furious.  But you know what I did?  I laughed at her.  I looked her straight in the eye and said "Well YOU know...there are special drugs that stupid people like you can take and there is botox and creams out there to help with your ugly, wrinkled, over-sun-baked leathery skin!"  I smiled at her again and proceeded to get up - I then told her to have a great day.  As I walked away, I looked back at her and she was still laying there with her mouth gaped open in surprise.  I'm sure she was pretty embarrassed.  I hope she was.  It was a rude, and hurtful thing to say - even if she did think she was meaning well.  The old me probably would have started yelling at her and maybe even popped her one in the mouth.  But I didn't...I walked away and laughed.  Stupid people like that are worth laughing at.  They don't deserve my time and energy.  I am proud of myself.

I am also getting closer to my 100 lb goal.  I don't want to say how many pounds I'm down now as I don't want to jinx it!  It shouldn't be long though...will keep everyone posted!

Love and hugs to all!

K