Motivation

I had a pretty good week this week.  I mostly attribute that to the fact that I stayed active four out of the five days and maintained a positive atittude...oh ya - and my new job! :-)  I seem to be fitting in quite nicely at the DSC - the job is extremely busy, but I feel like I have contributed and done a good job.  The girls there are super great to work with...when I walked in on my first day on Tuesday, this was on my desk!

By the time Friday rolled around, I was exhausted...but I was happy...and that's the most important thing to me.

I really enjoyed my exercise routine this week.  Monday I participated in Damir's (my husband's trainer) bootcamp.  There was lots of spinning, and he set up stations for each person - I remember doing plank rows, jumping jacks (which of course I had to modify) Rock Star Pushups, burpees, and other exercises I don't remember offhand now...lol  I went home after that and collapsed and felt great.  Tuesday I did Kendra's class...I remember it being hard, but I finished every drill she asked.  There was a lot of leg work and my knee was not in great shape - but still I pushed through and got it done.  Wednesday was probably my turning point to the week.  I came home right after work and for the first time since I started my journey, I DID NOT WANT TO WORK OUT....and this upset me a little.  I sat on my couch for about 30 mins when I finally decided to change my atittude, and I reached out to a couple of people.  So I got up off the couch and headed down to Fish Creek!  I only intended to go for a short walk (like an hour long), but once I got down there and started walking, and I felt my heart going I pushed on.  Here are a couple of pics of my walk - the second pic is of the hill that I did right at the end - after walking for 90 mins - I wasn't so sure I could get up it, but I pushed myself and got er done!

This is the bridge where the C-Train goes over.

This is my own personal "Hill of Hell"...after walking for 90 minutes, this was kinda brutal...but I did it!

Thursday, I did Kendra's class again - Thursdays are fun...there is always some kickboxing drills with weight training of some sort.  Kendra does this drill called Tower of Power - kind of like drop sets - I love doing her Tower of Power and I had a great kickboxing partner too...Then I got a nice surprise, when Ben walked in at the end of the class - he was going to do a workout and asked me if I wanted to work out with him...I thought to myself...really?  I just did Kendra's class and you want me to workout again?!  So ya...I did...and it was so much fun!  My shoulders are still sore and that was three days ago.  Friday I took a rest day as I needed it.

I've learned a lot about myself this week...I've learned that I am willing to do what it takes to finish and get the job done...and I will keep proving that to myself until I am finished this journey.  I need to continue to motivate myself and keep going.

So...did I meet my goals from last week?  Well not really...I didn't do Wednesday's class - I wanted to give my knee a rest - but I did do the walk in Fish Creek...my sleep wasn't great, but not as bad as it has been...and the carbs in the evening?  Yeah I still had them.  I do know that I need to buckle down when it comes to that...and I will...

So this week my goals are:

1.  Cut back on carbs in the evening.

2.  Find some form of activity to do four out of the five days.

3.  Increase my water intake

Hope everyone has a great week!



I'm a Big Girl Now...

So...ya...I did it.  I finally did what I've been talking non-stop for for like the last two weeks at least.  On Wednesday evening, I finally went to the YMCA and did a class...all by myself. 

Out of everything that I have set out to accomplish, this is by far pretty close to the top.  I have been spending a lot of time lately, letting my anxiety control me.  On Wednesday, I guess I decided I wanted a break from it.  I wanted to accomplish something...something big...and for me - I did.  It was weird just coming straight home from work - I almost always bring my gym bag with me to work and go directly to the gym from there.  I walked through the door, and headed straight to the couch.  Brian had been home sick from work - which is probably a good thing now that I think about it.  So, I sat there and said "You know - I don't have to go if I don't want to.  I COULD just stay home." 

Stay home?!  And do what??  Sit on the couch and know that once again, my anxiety got the best of me?  NO...I wanted to do this...I wanted to prove to myself that I COULD do it on my own. 

So I grabbed a snack and headed out the door.  While walking to the train station I kept thinking "You can go back Kristy, it's not too late!"  But this other voice in my head just kept telling me to keep walking...I also had a couple of friends close by on my Blackberry, and they kept at me.  Then when I got to the Y, I stood outside for about 10 minutes - trying to talk myself out of it, when Brian texted me - asking me how I was....it was like he knew what I was doing...lol.  So - I went in and did the class...and you know what??  I really enjoyed myself and wondered why I was freaking out in the first place. 

I think we all have our "Comfort Zone" that we don't like to break out of from time to time.  This time however, it was imparative that I do so.  This was one of the reasons why I got so big in the first place.  I relied WAY too much on other people and not on myself to get myself well and to become healthy and strong.  I am VERY proud of myself and am looking forward to this week's class!

I had another NSV this week.  I can now cross my legs!  I haven't been able to do that since I was a teenager.  I probably won't be doing it much tho - not good for your circulation, but it felt good knowing that I can.

I am also looking forward to this week.  I start my new position as a Laboratory Support Clerk back at the DSC.  I'm looking forward to seeing everybody that I used to work with, and I'm looking forward to getting back to some sort of a routine.

My goals for this week: 

1.  Do Wednesday's class again
2.  Sleep better
3.  Cut out carbs in the evening

I Am Human

Ummmm...yeah...it's certainly been an interesting week to say the least - an emotional roller coaster of sorts actually, and I've not been very happy about riding it out.  Monday started off super-great for me.  I received the news that I had gotten the job that I applied for.  I will be back working at the DSC - the Diagnostic and Scientific Centre for Calgary Laboratory Services.  I have been wanting this change for quite some time.  While I will miss my co-workers at the Rockyview, I know I will be much happier doing a job that I love.  I have no exact date when I will be moving over there - hopefully there won't be too much of a hold-up.

The rest of the week was stressful...and I can't just pin-point one reason why.  It was a multitude of things.  The way I dealt with it blew sucked (to put it mildly).   I started my cycle again of emotional eating again.  I haven't done this in probably over a year now.  While I was a bit surprised at what I had done, I was immediately upset with myself - but I kept doing it!  My food of choice was of course sugar...I get that instant calmness come over me immediately after putting it in my mouth - but of course within an hour of consuming it, I just wanted to make myself throw up.  Since my surgery, I have had a few people come up to me and tell me I took the easy way out - that I should be able to do this with just diet and exercise alone.  The lap-band by NO means is a quick fix...I knew this going in and I still believe that.  It is only a TOOL and will work for me as long as I am working with it.  This means NO ice-cream...NO chocolate...NO cereal in the evenings! 

I think what is different about me this time around with this cycle of my emotional eating, is that I have realized that I AM human...I will slip up like this from time to time...and the only thing I can and WILL do is to get back on track and get back into my routine.  I have come WAY too far to screw this up.  I will start again to use my lap-band as a tool and try to remember some of the tools I was taught in my weight loss support group:  Am I head hungry, stomach hungry or heart hungry?  Lately I've noticed I've had a heck a lof of heart hunger and need to THINK before I eat. 

Anyone else out there find that they emotionally eat?  I would love to hear the strategies you use to combat it...

It is a constant battle for me...but I'm human and I will kick it!