Sunday, October 21, 2012

Prove Them Wrong

I have to be honest here...I've been a bad blogger.  I haven't kept up to date with it - I used to blog every week, and I don't really know why I've stopped, but starting today, I'm going to really try to make the effort to blog more.  I find it therapeutic and it helps me with my weight loss efforts.

I've had a lot to think about as of late.  For a while, I couldn't get what my therapist told me out of my head the last time I saw her.  I was so angry with her.  She is supposed to be a person of trust and knowledge and support.  I felt none of that after I saw her.  I fact, I have felt the most alone in my journey than I have EVER.  Then my lap-band friend Angela sat me down and we had a good chat.  She too, was also taken aback with the therapist's comments.  We went over my food journals and had a good chat about everything.  Then she told me something that has been resonating in my head for weeks now.  "PROVE THEM WRONG."  "Prove to them Kristy that you can do this...that you have it in yourself to do this and get it done."  Thank you have inspired me yet again to get back on track and work harder!  Your support means the world to me.

So I've done just that.  Yes it's taken me a few weeks to get over my pity party, but I'm doing it.  I lost EIGHT pounds last week alone.  How did I do this?  I went through my food journal and figured out I was eating WAY too many carbs...and I was over-eating on the weekends too.  Both of these I have managed to fix.  I have also increased my cardio and have added it into EVERY workout.  Also last week, I managed to sleep a heck of a lot better too.  I'm not quite sure how I managed that, but I did.  I also focused a lot more on saying NO to crap at work.  We had a celebration for a co-worker on Thursday and I allowed myself a piece of cake..but it was a SMALL piece. gotta start somewhere!

I had kind of a discouraging visit with my doctor on Wednesday.  My knees are so painful and swollen at the moment.  I asked him for a refill on my Arthrotec - to which he told me that he wanted me to cut down almost entirely on that and just take Extra Strength Tylenol!  He told me the Arthrotec could cause kidney, liver and stomach issues.  Then he told me to get a cane.  I almost laughed out loud -- thought he was kidding.  He wasn't.  He also gave me another prescription for Arthrotec - but only to be taken on my "Flare up" days...which is almost every day right now...and he also gave me and rx for a new type of ointment that is loaded with analgesics.  Then he got on me about my weight again.  I told him I was trying my best and he just told me it was EXTREMELY critical that I get this weight off.  His words have given me even more of an incentive to try harder to lose the weight and get my knees better.  I am not a surgical candidate either, so it is really time for me to buckle down and get this done.

So that is where I am at right now.  I am going to prove them (the lap band support group leaders) that I can do this MY way.  But most of all, I am going to prove it to myself that I am capable and strong enough to get this done.

That is all.  Stay tuned!

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