I Think I've Figured it Out...

I think I've figured out why my weight has stalled completely the past couple of months...and I can't believe it has taken me so bloody long to figure it out. 

But it seems I have.

First off, I would like to thank everyone that has given me their advice and support this last while.  I have been VERY discouraged and even - as you know - been so discouraged that I wanted to give up totally.  I've listened to everyone's ideas of what I could do do kick start my weight loss again and I've even tried some of them.  But what I never really considered doing was the most obvious.

MAYBE YOU AREN'T EATING ENOUGH.

I know.  What a concept.  But you see, I thought I was watching everything that I was eating.  And I have been.  I was eating between 1100 - 1400 calories a day, which is what the lap band dietitians have advised that I eat.  What I haven't been watching closely is the amount of calories that I burn and intensity of my exercise program vs my calorie intake  I thought that after Ben left, and not having a personal trainer anymore, that I would slack off and my workouts wouldn't be as intense.  On the contrary - I've kicked it up a notch and added WAY more cardio.  My strength training isn't near as good as I want it to be, but it will come.  And I will be able to bench over 100lbs again in no time.  I've been doing lots of spin classes and have recently taken up Tae-Bo...both of which burn a serious amount of calories. 

I have discovered that I am not eating enough for the amount of exercise that I do.  Yes I know...  I've had a few people tell me that I might want to check into that - that I might be starving my body and not giving it the fuel that it needs in order to up my metabolism - hence lose the weight.  I just thought that I wasn't working out hard enough.

Make sense?  It does to me now...finally.  I stepped on the scale this morning.  Since Friday I have lost two pounds. 

I can't really say this plateau has been a really bad thing tho.  My body has taught me its limits.  While the scale hasn't shown change, my clothes have definitely changed.  With all the spinning I've been  doing, my quads have developed some definite muscular definition - something I'm totally not used to. AND - my cardio endurance is the best it has ever been!

I am happy and so relieved. 

I am on track again.  YES!!

INVINCIBLE

Took a long hard look at my life
Lost my way while I was fighting the time
A big black cloud, stormy sky
Followed me, oh I was living a lie
So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness
When all your nights are starless
You're running outta hope
But I found the strength inside to see
Found the better part of me
And I'll never let it go
I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible


When you're gone for a day
On your own
Tear your heart out just to find your way home
I've been so high
I've sunk so low
I've come so far, with nothing to show for it
Mistaken, I got so good at taking
But now I'm tired of faking
This story's getting old
So I found the strength inside to see
From the better part of me
And I'll never let it go


I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it
That's right, 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’
Invincible


I'm not the only one
That crashed into the sun
And lived to fight another day
Like a super nova
That old life is over
I'm here to stay
Now I'm gonna be
Invincible


I've come a long, long way
Made a lot of mistakes
But I'm breathin’, breathin’
That's right and I mean it, mean it
This time I'm a little run down
I've been living out loud
I could beat it, beat it


That's right 'cause I'm feelin’, feelin’


Invincible


The lyrics to the song by Hedley, a really great Canadian Band BTW, ring true for me.  Just a mere 2.5 years ago, I found myself in probably one of the lowest times of my life.  I was 360 lbs, and hated myself.  I am now 273 lbs and even though there are days where I struggle incredibly to stay on track, and focused, I know that I am getting closer and closer to my goal.  My goal of being happy AND slimmer.  Check out the video of this song if you get a moment...it's so inspiring!


Instead of saying I CAN do this...I'm saying I WILL do this!


Hugs to all...

Time for a Change Up??

The last couple of weeks have been a little trying emotionally for me.  Last weekend, I actually felt like quitting...I felt like throwing in the towel and saying "screw it."  My weight has stayed the same (give or take two pounds) for almost two months now. 

I'm tired...

I'm frustrated...

So I thought I would take this past week and just try and relax about my weight loss (or lack of it) and try not to even think about it.  I think I made it to Tuesday...lol  I talked with a few people from work and the gym and got some insight. 

First off...quitting is NOT an option for me.  I have come way to far to quit.  I have to change my mindset and keep focused. 

Secondly...I need to start tracking EVERYTHING.  I track what I eat and for the most part, how much.  What I have not been tracking is the amount of carbs that I've been ingesting.  I need to start counting those and keeping better track. 

Thirdly...Water...or lack of it.  Starting tomorrow - I am going to track my water intake and TRY and drink more (notice I said try).  I will make sure I am not using being too busy at work as an excuse as to why I'm not getting my water intake.

Again - I must get more sleep.  5-6 hrs a night is just not cutting it.  I know that proper sleep hygiene is VITAL to weight loss.  I've had quite a bit of stress to deal with lately - maybe it's time I make another trip to talk to Veronica my therapist.  I am considering taking up meditation...I've been going to as many yoga classes as I can and that seems to be helping.  I need to learn to BREATHE...and relax!

I am also seriously considering trying to cut gluten out of my diet.  Although I LOVE my grains (i.e. cereal and oatmeal) this is something that I would like to try.  I have a couple of friends that have celiac disease, and although they have told me that in the beginning, it was hard for them to cut out the gluten or wheat in their diet, they have definitely felt better and have had more energy.  This might be one of the things I need to do in order to kick start my weight loss again.

I am also going to change up my exericse routine.  I am going to add more cardio and cut out my cross fit classes. 

Whatever changes I need to make, I need to just do it.  After all, they say change is good right? 

Cheers to a better week ahead!

K

"YOU Don't Do Yoga!"

So...


We had our Health and Wellness Fair at work this past Thursday.  They had a lot of very informative booths - everything from the Arthritis Society, to World Health, to Survivor Bootcamp...and...The Yoga Studio...


For those of you that don't know, I LOVE Yoga.  I try and do it every Sunday when the opportunity arises.  It's been only since the start of this year that I have taken on a real interest in it.  This summer, I even tried hot yoga.  I am by no means an Ashtanga guru, but I do love the restorative classes.  I love the great stretch that I get and how relaxed it makes me feel. 


This story is going somewhere...lol


I approached The Yoga Studio booth and was grinning ear to ear - I said "Ooooohhhh!!  YOGA!  The guy at the booth looks me up and down and says "YOU don't do yoga!"  to which my reply was "Oh yes I do...I take a class down at Yoga Santosha."  I then proceeded to show him my old ID card with my big fat face on the front of it.  "This USED to be me." I said.  Not suprisingly, the guy wanted to give me his card and give me 50% a class.  I told him to keep his card.  I was shocked...and then the shock quickly turned to anger.  How could he be so rude like that???  You would think that someone in the fitness industry wouldn't treat people like that.  What I need to realize is that those kinds of people are everywhere - and I clearly need to figure out a way to not let them get to me.  I have been working WAY too hard to let some small-minded person rent space in my head like that. 


So ya...The Yoga Studio won't be getting my business anytime soon...or ever...


It was a pretty hard week for me.  I was sick to my stomach after spin class - which I found was kind of strange - I did push myself, but have pushed harded before.  I think it was mainly due to a mild stomach flu which I woke up to on Tuesday.  I took Wednesday off and rested - I needed it.  I ended up taking Friday, and today off too.  It was kind of nice actually.


We went to the movies last night and saw Crazy Stupid Love and Contagion.  Both movies were great and it was nice to get out of the house for an evening. 


I am looking forward to this week and I am looking forward to my fill appointment on Friday.  I am finding that my hunger is coming back a little more quickly after I have eaten than I would like.  I am hoping we can nip that in the bud.


Have a good week everyone!


K

So close...yet so far away?

I am frustrated...


To put it bluntly...I'm REALLY frustrated...


I blogged a couple of weeks ago about how I have been stuck at the same weight for the past couple of months.  The truth is yes I have been stuck at the same weight...but I didn't say what the weight was. 




Today I am 271 lbs.  Last Monday, I was 268...exactly 10 lbs away from 100 lbs down.  It has been an excruciatingly LONG journey to get to this point... I am so close I can almost taste it.  I worked REALLY hard this week - I ate clean, I exercised my butt off (literally)and drank tons of water.  The result???  271 lbs. 


I am trying SO hard to not let a number define me - to define how hard I have worked to get to this point...but it's hard.  I think the next step will be to switch things up with my exercise program... I tried a Y-Bo class yesterday at the YMCA and really liked it.  I know I need to crank things up a notch and do more cardio.  I will continue to do spin classes and add the Y-Bo in there.  I also need to be wary of my knees and not over-do it as I have in the past.  Maybe a day off here and there?  I don't know. 


If there is anyone out there who has been stuck in a long plateau as I have, could you please give me some advice?  Thanks!!


Onto my week...


We had employee appreciation week at work.  It was really nice and it was nice that we were all recognized for doing a good job.  I don't think enough employers out there do that for their employees.  Along with employee appreciaton week, came candy, chocolate, chips and cookies....EACH day.  I did REALLY well up until Friday when I had one to many cookies.  So to put it mildly, it was slightly brutal - I have issues sometimes with self-control.  Throw in PMS and I am screwed.  I was pretty amazed when our site leader brought out a veggie tray on "candy" day and made all of us throw out our candy and dig into the veggies.  It made me feel supported - I liked that.  It's nice that I work with a great group of co-workers that support each other!


On Monday, I did a Tabata spin class.  It was crazy...to put it mildly lol...we did lots of hill climbs, straight hills, straighways, and lots of intervals.  My Crossfit classes with Kendra were the hardest yet.  On Tuesday she had us doing bearcrawls, crabwalks and lots of agility ladder drills...my lats were sore up until yesterday!  I don't think I have been that sore in months.  Wednesday, I went to the YMCA by myself and proceeded to kick my own ass.  I went hard on the bike for my cardio, and then worked my legs on the leg press machine until I couldn't feel my legs.  Saturday I tried out a Y-Bo class at the Y, and today I did a spin class...I worked so hard in spin this morning that my face turned a beautiful shade of purple lol...


Yesterday, my friends Katie and Jarred got married.  The ceremony was absolutely beautiful and Katie was stunning.  I can't think of two people that are more deserving of each other than them.  I hope they will live a long and happy life together - love you guys!!


Hope everyone has a great week!  I hope to break my plateau!


HUGS!!


Kris

Another week down...

I enjoyed this past week...

And then the weekend came.

For some stupid/strange reason, I don't like the weekends.  The weekends are supposed to give me all the time in the world to myself - to relax and rejuvenate and get rid of the stress from the week.

But for me - it's the total opposite.

Call me crazy, but I enjoy my work week and the whole routine it brings to my life.  It feels structured, and I feel in control.  On the weekends, I find I think too much...and I don't feel in control of myself.  Eventually this will all catch up with me I'm sure - eventually I will have to relax and have some fun. 

Anyway...on to the important stuff!

I went to my lap-band support group meeting on Wednesday - that was probably the highlight of my week.  I really enjoy seeing all of my fellow lap banders and see how each and every one of them is doing.  I was really happy to see my friend Ginny who had recently been in the hospital - and was really happy to see that she was doing better.  I also learned more about my band and how it works - there were details about it that I didn't even know about - I knew I had to eat slowly with it, but didn't realize just HOW slowly I am supposed to be eating.  All along, I have been eating WAY more quickly than I should be.  I took into consideration everything that was shown to me and am proud to say I have not had anything stuck since Wednesday!  I am finding now that I have had a recent fill also, that I am eating less.  I also stay fuller longer, and that's a good thing.

I went back to yoga tonight too.  I haven't been in a couple of weeks and was really missing it.  I love my yoga class on Sundays.  It gives me the opportunity to unwind and relax.  Most of all tho - I don't have to think about anything! 

I worked out five times this week - and am proud of that.  The Crossfit classes with Kendra were particularly brutal with Thursday's class being the hardest.  It was an hour full of exercises that worked on all the small core muscles and such.  Each exercise, we did 100 reps worth!  By the end of the class, I was dizzy and felt like throwing up.  Needless to say - the pain in my abs finally went away this morning.  Must have been a good workout!

I hope everyone has a great week...

Cheers!

K

Fitlinxx

I've had my membership with the YMCA since September 4th, and I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.  I enjoy all the drop in fitness classes and I enjoy the weight room floor...but I think most of all, I really love the Fitlinxx System. 

What is Fitlinxx you ask?  Well, basically, it's a computer program that is connected to all of the cardio and weight machines and it tracks your reps, weight and your form.  I use it mainly with the cardio machines - i.e. the stationary bike and the elliptical.  My strength training, I either use the dumbells or the lat pull down and seated row etc.  I try and do my weight training as "manual" as possible.  I have worked on the "machines" a few times, but every time I do, I feel as though I don't get as good as a workout as I would if I was doing it manually with the weights.  For one thing - I'm just sitting there - and it just doesn't feel right to me.  On Wednesday, I hit an all-time goal (I think) for my dumbell chest press...I hit the 50lbs mark.  That's 50 lbs in each hand.  I managed to squeak out five reps, but I still did it - and paid for it the next day!  

So...yeah...I'm happy with the YMCA.  Sure, it's no ALIVE, but it helps with my fitness routine, and for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling motivated and happy about my exercise program.

I seem to have plateaued in the weight side of things...and it's starting to drive me crazy.  My surgeon doesn't seem too concerned about it, but I am.  I'm eating well and exercising like crazy, so eventually the scale will go down - in the right direction.  My clothes are fitting a lot looser and I've been getting lots of comments from people saying that they think I have lost some.  I've just decided to take it day by day and TRY (the operative word here is try) to not be so hard on myself.  I am in no race and there is no hurry to get the rest of my weight off.

So...one day at a time...I will beat this plateau!  Stronger both physically and mentally...I will do it.

Cheers and love to all!

K