Today is my Birthday...I turn 39...one more year until the big 4-0! This coming year is going to be full of excitement, accomplishments, change and of course I'm sure there will be a disappointment here and there along the way. But I am preparing myself the best way that I can - with that in mind, I have set up 10 goals - some personal (non scale type goals) and some physical (exercise)...
My goals before I reach the age of 40 are:
1. I want to be able to cross my legs. I haven't been able to do this in about 20 years. Guess it's time I started acting like a woman...lol
2. I want to be able to do 10 man's pushups without stopping.
3. I would like to be in a size 18-20 - pants, size large for my tops.
4. Speaking of sizes - how about a D cup for a bra size??
5. As much as I HATE doing them - I want to hold a plank for two minutes.
6. To appreciate veggies more - I got close up and personal with them for my pre op stage and actually don't mind them...I would like to try different ones tho - no more cucumber!
7. To make myself happy...not depend on others for it.
8. To deadlift what I used to - 265 lbs...and if I am able - higher
9. To do three unassisted pull-ups.
10. By my next birthday - I would like to be in the low 200's...and if possible out of the 200's all together.
So those are my 10 specific goals I would like to achieve by the time I hit 40. I will take it day by day and know that if I work hard, I will achieve them!
On another note - my healing continues - I've been feeling great and have been getting in my exercise. I kickboxed for 15 minutes last night - then went on the treadmill and did jogging intervals...I'm really happy about my progress. Today I start with soft foods...this means I can have eggs! I can't wait until I get my first fill in six weeks - then I can really get this show on the road. I'm also losing about a pound a day and loving that - I know it will even itself out eventually, but for now I am just going to enjoy the steady loss...something I haven't been able to enjoy for ME!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Week One...
My first official week as a Bandster is now finished...it was a fairly good week, but it certainly did have its ups and downs...
I started off the first week in Airdrie at my Dad's place. Monday - after only three days after my surgery, I was walking - tonnes...I went for a nice hour long walk through the neighborhood - it felt great to get moving and to get outside and get some fresh air. I had a great first few days out in Airdrie - my Dad and Step mom were great and took great care of me.
The rest of my week had a few highs and some disappointments - but I did manage to hit a huge milestone...my weight finally hit below 300lbs. When I stepped on the scale on Thursday morning it ready 299.8!! I haven't been that weight since I met Brian back in December of 2000 when I weighed 280. I was SO excited when I saw that number...all of my hard work that I've done and it's finally showing. I have created another short term goal and that is to hit 275 lbs by mid April - and I know I can do it!
My diet has consisted of liquids...everything from Jello to low fat yogurt smoothies to just apple juice and I've managed to feel good and still lose weight. My surgeon and my dieticians told me that in the first six weeks they don't want me to even think of my weight - who are we kidding tho?! I have been obsessed with my scale since I started the pre op diet a month ago - and I'm okay with that...it's what keeps me grounded and that's what I need that this point. I started my exercise program again on Friday but have been told by my surgeon that I am only to do light cardio and then after four weeks I can resume my regular exercise program -that means classes and my personal training sessions. So - I have March 11th circled on my calendar! I am so excited to get back into that routine and kick some ass!
Here's to a better week ahead!
I started off the first week in Airdrie at my Dad's place. Monday - after only three days after my surgery, I was walking - tonnes...I went for a nice hour long walk through the neighborhood - it felt great to get moving and to get outside and get some fresh air. I had a great first few days out in Airdrie - my Dad and Step mom were great and took great care of me.
The rest of my week had a few highs and some disappointments - but I did manage to hit a huge milestone...my weight finally hit below 300lbs. When I stepped on the scale on Thursday morning it ready 299.8!! I haven't been that weight since I met Brian back in December of 2000 when I weighed 280. I was SO excited when I saw that number...all of my hard work that I've done and it's finally showing. I have created another short term goal and that is to hit 275 lbs by mid April - and I know I can do it!
My diet has consisted of liquids...everything from Jello to low fat yogurt smoothies to just apple juice and I've managed to feel good and still lose weight. My surgeon and my dieticians told me that in the first six weeks they don't want me to even think of my weight - who are we kidding tho?! I have been obsessed with my scale since I started the pre op diet a month ago - and I'm okay with that...it's what keeps me grounded and that's what I need that this point. I started my exercise program again on Friday but have been told by my surgeon that I am only to do light cardio and then after four weeks I can resume my regular exercise program -that means classes and my personal training sessions. So - I have March 11th circled on my calendar! I am so excited to get back into that routine and kick some ass!
Here's to a better week ahead!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Post-op!
I made it! I am now officially what they call a "Bandster!" I'm so glad my surgery is over and I can start my new life!
My surgery day was a true test of my patience... I got to the hospital on time, got checked in and headed up to the Day Surgery Unit. They got me into a gown (which was about four times too big for me), got my iv in, and settled in for the long wait...Dr. Church had an emergency appendectomy earlier in the day and it set him behind. While I understood that this patient was MUCH sicker than I, and needed him more, I did get to feel a little impaitient - I think actually, that I was more anxious than anything else and just wanted it done and over with! I remember getting into the operating room itself, everyone introduced themselves to me, and the anesthesiologist was really nice too :-) He calmed me down - and I went to sleep. The next thing I know, I'm in recovery, shaking - so the nurses instantly got me all wrapped up in nice warm blankets - they were great - I also remember two of them admiring my tattoo and asking me if it was an orca that I had on my leg...all I remember is saying I think so...lol
I was supposed to stay in recovery for four hours because of my sleep apnea...but after two hours, they could see that I was doing well so they sent me back to the Day Surgery Unit. I won't go into details about everything - if you would like to know more, you can ask me directly or message me privately :-) It was wonderful that I got to have some visitors afterwards - that made me feel great and calmed me down.
So far, day two post op I am feeling fairly good...I still have quite a bit of pain from the gas that they put into me for the operation, but I am feeling optimistic and happy...I'm SO glad that I had a regular exercise program before this - my body was so prepared and my healing is getting underway. I am hoping to be back to the gym by the end of the week :-) I miss everyone there already!
I haven't stepped on the scale yet. I think I will wait a while before I do that...for now I just want to get stronger - and by the way things are going, that shouldn't be too long!
My surgery day was a true test of my patience... I got to the hospital on time, got checked in and headed up to the Day Surgery Unit. They got me into a gown (which was about four times too big for me), got my iv in, and settled in for the long wait...Dr. Church had an emergency appendectomy earlier in the day and it set him behind. While I understood that this patient was MUCH sicker than I, and needed him more, I did get to feel a little impaitient - I think actually, that I was more anxious than anything else and just wanted it done and over with! I remember getting into the operating room itself, everyone introduced themselves to me, and the anesthesiologist was really nice too :-) He calmed me down - and I went to sleep. The next thing I know, I'm in recovery, shaking - so the nurses instantly got me all wrapped up in nice warm blankets - they were great - I also remember two of them admiring my tattoo and asking me if it was an orca that I had on my leg...all I remember is saying I think so...lol
I was supposed to stay in recovery for four hours because of my sleep apnea...but after two hours, they could see that I was doing well so they sent me back to the Day Surgery Unit. I won't go into details about everything - if you would like to know more, you can ask me directly or message me privately :-) It was wonderful that I got to have some visitors afterwards - that made me feel great and calmed me down.
So far, day two post op I am feeling fairly good...I still have quite a bit of pain from the gas that they put into me for the operation, but I am feeling optimistic and happy...I'm SO glad that I had a regular exercise program before this - my body was so prepared and my healing is getting underway. I am hoping to be back to the gym by the end of the week :-) I miss everyone there already!
I haven't stepped on the scale yet. I think I will wait a while before I do that...for now I just want to get stronger - and by the way things are going, that shouldn't be too long!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Almost There!
Well here I am...I am exactly FIVE days away from surgery and almost done my pre-op diet. I'm so glad it's almost over - at least the pre op part anyway...the next part of my journey is really just beginning. Lots of people have been asking me if I'm nervous...the answer to that of course, is yes...I'm nervous about the general anesthetic and the overnight stay in the hospital. But I know everything will go smoothly - my body is strong and healthy and I have made it that way. I saw Veronica (my therapist) on Friday and we chatted a little about my "nervousness" and we talked about all of the "tools" I have acquired that I can use for when I get to the hospital (or wake up that morning lol) and start to get nervous...I will utilize those tools (or strategies) to the best of my ability and will do just fine.
My weight today is 305.1 lbs - I have lost 22.8 lbs since I started the pre op diet on January 20th. Already, I am starting to notice changes in myself, not just physically - but mentally also...I'm feeling stronger than I have in a long time - I know how determined I am and know that I can do this. It was a bit of a rough week food-wise at work this week, by this I mean lots of temptations...Thursday and Friday our department had cake - and I totally got through it...was it hard? Heck ya, but I kept saying to myself that I had come WAY too far to screw it up now...besides - I don't think any of my co-workers would even let me near the stuff anyways...they have been very supportive of me and I am grateful. I also can't believe I've made it through almost three weeks on 900 calories a day - and I've managed to keep my workouts up - less intense than normal, but I still manage to sweat by the time it's over!
I'd would just like to thank everyone that has helped me and supported me during this three week "learning experience." Thank you to my friends and family that have been there to listen when I wanted to give up AND put up with my ridiculous mood swings...to my co-workers that wouldn't even let me near the "food drawer" (lol) and to my ALIVE Family who have been supporting me and helping me push through this...My trainer Ben has been so supportive and always manages to make my workouts fun, but still challenging...there were a couple of times this past week that I came to my workouts in a bad mood, but always finished with a smile on my face. Holly has also been awesome - taking the time to chat with me and help me feel better. I know I always say this...but I am convinced that if I had not found out about ALIVE I know I wouldn't be where I am today. I would probably still be sitting in front of my TV - and stuffing my face with ice cream and blaming everyone but myself for the way I was.
Now I just want to shout it out to the world how happy I am...how excited I am...
Change is a comin'!
My weight today is 305.1 lbs - I have lost 22.8 lbs since I started the pre op diet on January 20th. Already, I am starting to notice changes in myself, not just physically - but mentally also...I'm feeling stronger than I have in a long time - I know how determined I am and know that I can do this. It was a bit of a rough week food-wise at work this week, by this I mean lots of temptations...Thursday and Friday our department had cake - and I totally got through it...was it hard? Heck ya, but I kept saying to myself that I had come WAY too far to screw it up now...besides - I don't think any of my co-workers would even let me near the stuff anyways...they have been very supportive of me and I am grateful. I also can't believe I've made it through almost three weeks on 900 calories a day - and I've managed to keep my workouts up - less intense than normal, but I still manage to sweat by the time it's over!
I'd would just like to thank everyone that has helped me and supported me during this three week "learning experience." Thank you to my friends and family that have been there to listen when I wanted to give up AND put up with my ridiculous mood swings...to my co-workers that wouldn't even let me near the "food drawer" (lol) and to my ALIVE Family who have been supporting me and helping me push through this...My trainer Ben has been so supportive and always manages to make my workouts fun, but still challenging...there were a couple of times this past week that I came to my workouts in a bad mood, but always finished with a smile on my face. Holly has also been awesome - taking the time to chat with me and help me feel better. I know I always say this...but I am convinced that if I had not found out about ALIVE I know I wouldn't be where I am today. I would probably still be sitting in front of my TV - and stuffing my face with ice cream and blaming everyone but myself for the way I was.
Now I just want to shout it out to the world how happy I am...how excited I am...
Change is a comin'!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Pre-Op Week 2
Yes!! I made it through Week 1 of my Pre-Op diet! One word to describe this past week - well maybe two words would be Hell and Perseverance. The Hellish part was wanting to give up twice...I was so sick of eating green veggies and watching everyone eat whatever they wanted...watching Brian cook something simple like an egg and watching him eat it...an EGG...was my body really starving for that stupid egg or was my mind just telling me what it has for the last 20 years: "Kristy - you can eat that egg - it doesn't matter - it will make you feel better" For so many years, that's what I've been doing - I've been listening to my old routines in my head and just grabbing whatever food may be in reach without THINKING first. The past eleven days have really shown me that I need to use the food as FUEL for my body and not as comfort, or just because. Ben has been telling me this for quite a while now - and I always understood WHAT he meant...I just never tried to incorporate it into my life...I think I needed something like this to force me into that way of thinking...I need to think "Am I really hungry at this very moment?" "Does my body need this food as fuel?"
Anyway - something for me to keep working on... :o)
So...so far in 10 days, I have lost 16.4 lbs. I am eleven pounds away from 300 lbs. I would LOVE to be below 300 for my surgery. That would be such an incredible feeling...I don't think I have been below 300 pounds in about ten years. Oh what a feeling this will be!
I have a feeling this week is going to go much more smoothly for me...I need to keep thinking positively and keep thinking about the end result...a completely new me!!
Anyway - something for me to keep working on... :o)
So...so far in 10 days, I have lost 16.4 lbs. I am eleven pounds away from 300 lbs. I would LOVE to be below 300 for my surgery. That would be such an incredible feeling...I don't think I have been below 300 pounds in about ten years. Oh what a feeling this will be!
I have a feeling this week is going to go much more smoothly for me...I need to keep thinking positively and keep thinking about the end result...a completely new me!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Pre-op
So - Thursday was the big day...I started my pre-op diet. For those of you that don't know (which I would find hard to believe, because it's pretty much the only thing I've been talking about lately!) my diet now consists of four Opifast shakes and all of the non-starchy vegetables I want. This equals about 900 calories a day.
The first two days - I won't lie...were absolutely brutal. It's been rough as I've been trying to train my brain to adjust to the fewer calories. I was weak, headachey, tired, slow (in the head) and of course, cranky! But I've had AMAZING support from my family, my friends, my co-workers and my other family at ALIVE. I've been leaning on them for the support I need - I have a hard time for some reason asking for help...I've been that way for a long time...this is going to need to change for me to be successful on this journey and I will be working on it. Yesterday, when I woke up, I felt quite a bit better and today I feel about the same so hopefully my body has finally started to adjust. I've also kept up on my workouts - but at a much lighter, modified pace. Ben has planned all my workouts for me which is really great...the exercise definitely helps me to feel more relaxed and balanced which I need... :-)
This week I was also reminded again, that what I'm doing is for ME...that I need to take care of myself and keep going...on Thursday, I found out that a friend from high school had passed away - he was type one diabetic, smoked, drank, and did drugs...yet another person I have known that has done this to themselves. He was only 39 years old. I was in shock as his obituary picture stared back at me. Why??! Well, only he knows why he chose the path that he did. I am just going to keep plugging away and working hard...I have learned some hard lessons, but I have managed to turn them into learning experiences and personal gain.
I'm also learning to eat. I know this sounds silly, but it's the truth. Before I started the pre-op diet, I wouldn't really think about what I was putting in my mouth - it just became automatic...for instance - this past Thursday evening when I got home from the gym, I went to the fridge to grab the fixings for my shake...I was ravenous...I glanced up and immediately grabbed a container of blackberries - grabbed three of them and crammed them into my mouth - WITHOUT EVEN THINKING...as I started to chew, I realized - WTF am I doing?! I immediately realized what I was doing, spit them out and rinsed my mouth out. I find it amazing how we use food to soothe our emotions - I was frustrated and anxious about starting my pre-op diet - and just grabbed whatever was there - whatever would make me feel better. I haven't done it since - I think I'm pretty aware of it now and will keep that under control... :-)
So - that's my first few days on pre-op...I really hope these three weeks fly by...I think there is only so much green beans and asparagus I can handle!
The first two days - I won't lie...were absolutely brutal. It's been rough as I've been trying to train my brain to adjust to the fewer calories. I was weak, headachey, tired, slow (in the head) and of course, cranky! But I've had AMAZING support from my family, my friends, my co-workers and my other family at ALIVE. I've been leaning on them for the support I need - I have a hard time for some reason asking for help...I've been that way for a long time...this is going to need to change for me to be successful on this journey and I will be working on it. Yesterday, when I woke up, I felt quite a bit better and today I feel about the same so hopefully my body has finally started to adjust. I've also kept up on my workouts - but at a much lighter, modified pace. Ben has planned all my workouts for me which is really great...the exercise definitely helps me to feel more relaxed and balanced which I need... :-)
This week I was also reminded again, that what I'm doing is for ME...that I need to take care of myself and keep going...on Thursday, I found out that a friend from high school had passed away - he was type one diabetic, smoked, drank, and did drugs...yet another person I have known that has done this to themselves. He was only 39 years old. I was in shock as his obituary picture stared back at me. Why??! Well, only he knows why he chose the path that he did. I am just going to keep plugging away and working hard...I have learned some hard lessons, but I have managed to turn them into learning experiences and personal gain.
I'm also learning to eat. I know this sounds silly, but it's the truth. Before I started the pre-op diet, I wouldn't really think about what I was putting in my mouth - it just became automatic...for instance - this past Thursday evening when I got home from the gym, I went to the fridge to grab the fixings for my shake...I was ravenous...I glanced up and immediately grabbed a container of blackberries - grabbed three of them and crammed them into my mouth - WITHOUT EVEN THINKING...as I started to chew, I realized - WTF am I doing?! I immediately realized what I was doing, spit them out and rinsed my mouth out. I find it amazing how we use food to soothe our emotions - I was frustrated and anxious about starting my pre-op diet - and just grabbed whatever was there - whatever would make me feel better. I haven't done it since - I think I'm pretty aware of it now and will keep that under control... :-)
So - that's my first few days on pre-op...I really hope these three weeks fly by...I think there is only so much green beans and asparagus I can handle!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Moving Forward...
Wow...two blog posts in two days?! What's the matter with me? Well nothing - in fact I feel stronger than I have in a long time...I thought I would wake up this morning and start the ritual of crying about Mom, but in fact...I'm not...I'm happy and it feels kinda weird...
Perhaps I am finally moving on - moving towards that glorious level of acceptance - accepting that she is gone - but not forgetting about her. That I will never do...
Now moving on...this week, Thursday in fact, I start my pre-op diet. I'm excited and a little nervous...but mostly excited! Brian and I went out to Superstore yesterday and bought my veggies - I will get my four protein drinks and the veggies and that will be it! I will definitely be kick-starting my weight loss again - I'm excited about what I'm going to look like and feel like...I know I will have my ups and downs with this pre-op stage, but I am going to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize...and as Ben would say "I'm growing into a beautiful flower" LOL... :-)
Well stay tuned for Thursday...cause it's gonna be quite the ride!
Perhaps I am finally moving on - moving towards that glorious level of acceptance - accepting that she is gone - but not forgetting about her. That I will never do...
Now moving on...this week, Thursday in fact, I start my pre-op diet. I'm excited and a little nervous...but mostly excited! Brian and I went out to Superstore yesterday and bought my veggies - I will get my four protein drinks and the veggies and that will be it! I will definitely be kick-starting my weight loss again - I'm excited about what I'm going to look like and feel like...I know I will have my ups and downs with this pre-op stage, but I am going to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize...and as Ben would say "I'm growing into a beautiful flower" LOL... :-)
Well stay tuned for Thursday...cause it's gonna be quite the ride!
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